Things just happen.
We may never understand them, but we have to believe that it's for the BEST.
even if, it doesn't seem that way. :'> :O :"(

Home » Archives » August 2010

full of stupid sh1ts.

August 28, 2010

I always felt concious.

Maybe because I always care of what others may say about ME.

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 8:34 pm | permalink | comments[1]

I should’ve realized then and there that he was starting to care for me.

August 25, 2010

As we continued walking, I realized something. “Hey Jaewon.”

“What?” He replied.

You’re still holding my hand,” I pointed out.

Still continuing to lead me, Jaewon half turned, barely glancing at me. “I Know.”

I should’ve realized then and there that he was starting to care for me.

He had been so angry that Hansuk had laid his hands on me.

He didn’t like the bull shit that SangWoo was about to say to me.

He was furious about it.

He hated it.

And he was damn sexy about it.

                                                      -MAY

                                                       Conversations between Us

* * *

Geez, Sorry I’m back to my CBU obsess self again. Actually I’m reading it again. I printed the edited version of it. The edited version is 176 pages, the other 76 pages will be printed next week because, I’m broke now. Hehehe. After printing those left, I’ll book bind it. Yeah, I’m determined to turn it in a book. My personal Conversations Between Us book. Thanks to my idol, Solangel. Hehehe. I will read it when it’s raining then I’ll have a cup of coffee while reading. Aahhh~ I’m so excited of the thought!

May naalala lang ako. Mga last two months ago, ganitong oras din yun. Pagkatapos ni Papa kumain, lumabas siya buhat buhat yung mahabang hagdan na kahoy. Tinawag niya ako. Kasalukuyan naman akong naghuhugas ng pinggan namin noon kaya hindi kaagad ako nakalabas nung tinawag niya ako. Nung lumabas na ako, nagpapabukas pala ng gate namin si Papa saakin, pero may binatang lalaki na nakakita sa sitwasyon ni papa at kusa niyang tinulak yung gate para kay Papa. That boy is soooo sweet right?! He has initiative to do it without even asking. That’s what you call “Kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.” If I had the chance I would like to thank the boy. Or even smile at him. Too bad, it’s too dark and he’s a fast walker.

Anyway, that’s all for tonight. It’s raining! YAHOOOO. My fave~

And I need a cup of coffee. Everyone, stay safe!

 

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 6:25 pm | permalink | Add comment

A tragic ending. RIP.

August 24, 2010

Seriously, I pity people who bashed, cursed and hated Rolando Mendoza. As if they’re all angels, who doesn’t make “major” mistakes. And I detest people who made him like a madman, a public enemy and forever KILLER. Police and media what can you say about this? Who called the police to arrest Mendoza’s brother? And now, they’re blaming him for associating his brother? AS I CAN SEE, HE WAS FCKING TRYING TO DO ANYTHING TO CALL HIS BROTHER!!!! I can’t believe you people. HWAG PO TAYONG MAGHUGAS KAMAY. Nakakaawa po tayo. MAHIYA KAYO DAHIL KALAT SA BUONG MUNDO ANG… Aish!~

You guys need loads of prayers. You need to think about your actions.

At pwede ba? Sa mga pulitiko na bigla bigla na lang lumalabas diyan, ASAN KAYO KAHAPON?!

Huwag tayong magmarunong. Bakit hindi nalang natin daanin lahat sa dasal?

Hindi sana sad ending ang nangyari kung iniisip natin ang aksiyong gagawin natin. Hindi sana tayo iba banned sa Hongkong (at hwag sana sa Korea) kung hindi natin idinadaan sa karahasan ang lahat. We offended a lot of people in our entire life. Did we apologize? No, WE BLAME IT TO OTHERS.

I can’t even watch news about this. It breaks my heart that someone had to killed a lot of innocent foreigners just because some people are being so stupid, so self centered!

Look at the Chinese people, look at Mendoza. They’re all dead now. We’re all alive. We’ll forever remember this tragedy.

I can’t stand seeing his face. I have a feeling that he doesn’t want them to die. He just wants justice. Pero pinagkait sa kanya.

Sorry. Sorry If I you feel that, I’m on the “killer’s” side. Maybe If i was one of his hostages, maybe if i have a family there inside the bus, I would blame him for everything. For his foolish acts. Maybe I will curse him for taking their life. No one is allowed to take someone’s life. In my own opinion, only God can do that. But we pushed him to do it. And he did.

Now, it’s the end.

Is it also the end of Tourism in the Philippines? As far as I know, we’re banned in Hongkong. Are we also banned in Korea?

Augh~ Too many dead bodies. I can’t stand looking at them. But I can’t stand looking at Mendoza’s photos, even more.

Chinese People, Korean Idols~ We are not bad. Please, someday, forgive us.

Let’s all pray tonight and wear black tomorrow as a sign of mourning and respect for the souls.

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 8:01 pm | permalink | Add comment

Life can end.

August 23, 2010

Masakit ang tuhod ng lola ko. namamaga, at hindi siya makatayo. But then again, I yelled at her. Accused her, offended her. That’s why she told me I’m not her real grand daughter. because I am TOO bad. She always accussed me of not bein a human. I’m an animal. I deserved her harsh words because I admit, I’m sooo mean to her. I shouldn’t shout at her. I should just told her to sit down ang relax herself. But no, I did the opposite thing. I told myself to be a good person, to calm down, to smile and not hurt her because she’s old na. But what did I do? I’m so stupid. I deserved to be grounded. If I can only hold my patience, If I can only control my angst… It’s too late for everything. And I just wanna die. Because the pain is enough. More than enough to kill my sanity.

Matututo ka rin sa HULI.

huli na nga lang.

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 10:24 am | permalink | Add comment

I’m not trying to make sense here~

August 16, 2010

I have so many things, so many stories, so many experiences today that I want to share. But now, I can’t do it because I’m not in the mood. You know what Stephenie Meyer said about the issue of her “Midnight Sun”? a lot of people are trying to convince her to continue writing it, but she was so upset of what “happened”, she said that her first feelings was that there was no way to continue writing it.

Writing isn’t like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything.

 

I can totally relate.

If I will write NOW the story, it won’t be as exciting and enjoyable as it is supposed to be. It’s.. err, exciting. At least for me. Ke~

If I have time, or the strength to backtrack and finish this entry I will go on the details of how much I enjoy riding LRT again after a month, how much I appreciated SM Manila now since it’s really great and it has stores and restos that Trinoma aint have. How much excitement I felt when I discovered that there were Etude Store in SM Manila and how sorta disappointed I am because the endorsers were Park Shin Hye and Lee Min Ho. (it’s supposed to be, eh eh eh eh 2ne1! LOL! How biased I am *GRINS*) How much I got disappointed because I saw some beanies at the ground floor but the cost UNBELIEVABLY too much! Then we also went inside Comic Alley, and guess what. Comic Alley was playing Big Bang songs nonstop! I love it! Comic Alley @ SM MANILA, You rock!!! :) Then, how much I feel so empty because my 400 php allowance is now down to, 150php. In this cruel world, you really have to spend a lot of money to be happy and somewhat satisfied, neh?

Aigoo~ They’re arguing again. WTF. Can I use bad words now? Tang*na, pwede bang magsitigil na kayo? Magmahalan kayo at magintindihan hindi yung puro pride, hindi yung DAPAT AKO ANG TAMA! Tang*na walang perpektong tao!

That’s all. Night.

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 7:14 pm | permalink | comments[1]

baka sakaling maisip mo~

August 15, 2010

Hating gabi na ako nakatulog kaya sobrang inaantok pa ako kaninang umaga. Halos 6:30 na ako nakagising. Kailangan ko pa ng tulong ng cellphone ko para magising at mawala ang pagkaantok ko. Kailangan ko ng malakas na pananampalataya para makumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na pumasok ng Logic class. Dang it! Sorry sa Papa ko na pinaghihihirapan ang pambayad sa school tapos hindi lang ako papasok dahil sa gusto kong takasan ang masalimuot at nakakapagpadugong logic class.

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kailangan ko talaga as in sobrang kailangan kong pumasok… dahil baka tumabi saakin si High you. Ang babaw pero isa yun sa mga idinahilan ko sa sarili ko.  Isa lang yun sa mga iba pang dinahilan ko sa sarili ko ha, wag kang mag react owvah!

Tinext ko sila chad, che at jen. Nasa jeep na ako ng magreply sila. Pinaka natawa ako sa reply ni chad. “Ay naku UTANG NA LOOB! sasabihin ko kay “lloydie” na may crush ka sa kanya” Natawa talaga ako ng bongga nung mabasa ko yun ah! Nasa jeep pa naman ako.

Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ba nila nahugot yun eh. Basta bigla na lang kaming ni link sa isa’t isa. Si lloydie ay classmate naming lalaki, maliit lang, ka level ko, parehas kaming mukhang bata (bumuhat na po ako ng sarili kong bangko hehehe) at kahawig niya si John Lloyd Cruz. Masaya siyang katabi at kaasaran. Pero sorry, wala akong pagtibok ng puso sa kanya. Pero bakit bakit at bakit?? Bakit at sa paanong paraan nagsimula ang lahat ng pang aasar nila saamin? Pero hindi naman ako yung owvah sa arte ha. Sakin ayos lang naman yun, wala namang masama sa pang aasar nila saamin, kasi walang malisya naman talaga at para saakin magkaibigan lang kami, wala ng lalagpas dun. Pero hindi ako nagsasabi ng tapos. Malay natin? Hahaha

Anyway, mga 7:50 na ako nakarating sa classroom. Pag pasok ko, diretso kaagad ako sa pwesto ko. Pero andoon siya at nakaupo. Tumingin pa nga saakin eh. Walang bakanteng upuan sa gitna nila ni Jen. Okay, naunahan ako ni high you mga teh~ no choice kung hindi umupo sa likod nila. Sa buong panahon na andun ako sa likod at nagsasagot sila, wala akong magawa, kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasagutan yung sinasagutan nila. Wala akong magawa kundi pagmasdan ng mabuti ang gestures ni high you. Walang ginawa kundi makipag harutan kay kuya mark. Eh hindi naman niya makopyahan si jen dahil nakatalikod sa kanya. At parang… okay yung level nung feelings from 8/10 nagiging 7/10. Bumababa mga teh~

Awa ng Diyos, nag break. Lumayas sila sa classroom. Lumipat kaagad ako at umupo sa upuan niya, katabi ni Jen kung saan ang trono ko. Dun ako eh. Medyo na ge gets ko na yung sinasagutan nila kanina kasi tinuturuan ako. Bigla silang dumating. Last week, nung Makita niya si Kuya Aron na nasa pwesto niya, umupo siya sa likod. Pero bakit kanina, huminto siya sa harap ko at wari’y pinapalayas ako. OO! Literal na ganun ang nangyari! Hindi na ako umapela pa, late ako eh, lumipat ulit ako.

Nakita ni Che. Nagalit na dinaig pa ang nanay ko. Pinausog niya ng bongga sila louie, chad at jen para magkaron ng pwesto sa gitna ni Jen at highyou. Nung una siyempre sabi ko, “Hwag na, okay na ako dito.” Lalong nagalit si che. “Anu kaba, diyan ka naman talaga nakapwesto eh. Wala kang matututunan diyan sa likod. Lumipat kana.”

Masunurin po akong nilalang(gusto ko din naman LOL) kaya hinatak ko ang upuan, pero nakaharang si high you kaya kinalabit ko siya. “kuya” lingon siya. “pausog naman” Usog siya. Patay malisya. Siguro manhind di na-feel yung partly parinig ni Che sa kanya.

Pagka upo ko sa gitna, aba ang mga bruhito’t bruhita nagtuksuhan. Nahahalata tuloy ako!

Tuloy ang discussion. Wala akong magawa. Dinrowing ko si pooh sa kamay ni Jen. Nakikita ko siya na tumitingin. Iniisip ko, yung ginawa niya kanina… nakakaturn off ba yun?  Kasi… ewan. Parang ungentleman diba? Hindi ko tuloy alam ang iisipin ko. Hindi na ako nakapag concentrate ng tuluyan sa sinasabi ni Sir. Kumakanta siya ng random na kanta. Na parang nag mu murmur lang. Walang halong biro! Hehehe~

Heto pa. Biglang nag vibrate ang cellphone niya. May tumatawag sa kanya. Sinagot niya yung phone, eh nag do drawing ako, ayaw kong pakinggan yung sinasabi niya. Pero nagulat nalang ako, bigla siyang dumikit saakin habang nakayuko. Nasunggo/na touch pa niya yung kaliwang tuhod ko sa taranta. Nagulat ako dun pramis! Nilayo ko nga kaagad eh. Nakuryente ulit ako.

Pagkatapos ng Logic, stat naman. Pero walang masyadong nangyari. As usual, patawa ng patawa yung prof namin, at sa bawat banat niya hindi ka pwedeng hindi tatawa dahil sobrang nakakatawa talaga! Kung sa bawat joke niya ay babayaran mo siya ng 1000 pesos, aba’y baka milyunaryo na siya ngayon! Isa sa mga joke niya kanina ay yung ni relate niya yung topic sa “ Pag hinawakan mo bigla, nagagalit.” Diretso sa mga lalaki yung katanungan niya. Na green minded tuloy ang buong klase. At ang unggoy na mababa tuwang tuwa! Hindi mo maikakaila sa hitsura niya kanina habang siya yung tinanong ni Sir ng ganung tanong na tuwang tuwa siya at aliw na aliw sa ibig sabihin ni Sir. Talaga yang mga lalaking yan!

 

Mabuti naman at natapos na kaagad ang klase… Ang bilis ng oras… Panibagong linggo na naman… Malapit na mag midterm, at malas… bakit hindi pa rin kami nagkakaron ng pagkakataong mag usap ng normal at mahaba naman? Nang mawala na ‘to. :)

 

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 4:17 pm | permalink | Add comment

i wonder what’s the reason behind this

August 9, 2010

Pagkatapos kong mag net kagabi, hindi pa ako makatulog kaya pagkahiga ko, kinuha ko yung headset ko at nag radyo sa cellphone. Search ako ng station. May narinig akong pamilyar na kanta.

“Miss you” by Aaliyah(RIP) memories of him came back. Suddenly, I remember meron pala akong picture niya sa isa sa mga albums ko. Picture niya nung bata siya, binigay saakin ng classmate ko nung second year high school kami. Nasakop ng picture na yun ang isang buong page ng album kasi malaki siya, ang ginawa ko pa, nilagyan ko ng lyrics yung ibaba. Yung una lyrics ng Miss you, yung second, teka nalimutan ko. Anu nga ba yun?? Nilapat ko ng station ng matapos ang kanta. Pagkalipat ko, patapos na yung naabutan kong kanta.  Nagulat na lang ako ng tumugtog yung sumunod na kanta, yun yung nalimutan ko! “Only reminds me of you” by MYMP. OMGOODNESS. Nilipat ko ulit, “Without You” by Charlie Wilson naman.

WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS HAPPENING? BAT BIGLA BIGLA SILANG TUMUTUGTOG? Nooooo. Kalerkyyyy.

Sorry ang labo ko magkwento. Nevermind.

Today, me and my friend Je, went to Trinoma, to… Wala lang. Ayoko nga kasi dito sa bahay. Yung taong niyaya ko naman, walang pera. Kaya pati ako wala ng pera. aigoo~ Nilibre ko siya ng slurpee niya, pamasahe papunta, pamasahe pauwi, popcorn, fries. Hati pa kami sa Crepes na favourite ko na ngayon, mahal nga lang.

Crazy Crepes in Trinoma is the best!!!! TRY IT. You won’t regret and forget about it. Yuuuummmmm. drools.

ay, no, hindi ako nabayaran to promote. Hahaha~ Kapag talagang nagustuhan ko yung product. BIDA KA DITO! :D huhuhu, mahal nga lang, but I know it’s gonna worth it. Next time, yung ice cream naman ang titikman namin, saka bibili na din ako ng Jelly Beans. Masarap din daw yun. Crazy Crepes and Jelly Beans~ WAIT FOR MEEEE. :)

Anyway, hindi naman masama ang loob ko kung nawalan man ako ng allowance for tomorrow because I treated her. Okay lang yun, its for her naman. Saka nung birthday ko naman, naubos 600 niya saakin. HAHA, TRUE STORY!! XDD

after 2 and half hours, umuwi na kami. Funny, hindi umulan ngayong araw na ‘to. Makulimlim lang. which we like right? kasi pag masyadong mainit, MAINIT. pag maulan, MAULAN. okay na ‘tong di mainit di din maulan. mahangin pa. saraaaap. sana ganito din bukas, at sana may tubig bukas ng umaga. kasi may tubig kami ngayong gabi. kinakabahan ako eh,  baka walang tubig pag maliligo na ako, hassle yun~

Haaay. Nothing to share~ it pisses me off whenever I think about a nice topic to write when I was away from my laptop. And when I’m here, in front of Tamtam, all the thoughts are gone. Short term memory. laziness and limited time. Pressure. Argh~ I can’t write!!!! *pouts*

Oh! You know what? I pm-ed the author of “Conversations Between Us” on Soompi and she replied to me!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! SHE EVEN GAVE ME A FEW TIPS!!!! SHE READ MY ENTRY FOR CBU IN MY PUBLIC BLOG! She’s so nice and very humble and very very very cool!! I LOVE HER! Saranghaeyo Sol unni! SOLANGEL FTW! Idol forever! :)

That’s all for tonight. I wonder what will happen tomorrow? Yey! tuesday na naman. makikita ko si Pagibig sa MIS class. yipeekakeey!

Gutbam~

 

 

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 8:20 pm | permalink | Add comment

How did you freakin know I want you??? Aish!

August 7, 2010

Nagising akong umuulan sa labas ng bahay namin. Winish ko na sana, lunes na lang para pwede akong matulog hanggang 8am. Pero kumanta bigla ang cellphone ko ng, “Lolli-lolli oh lollipop” ng BigBang at 2ne1… Kaya wala akong choice kundi mag gayak at pumasok sa Logic class.

Second wish ko? Sana hindi siya tumabi saakin. Si high-you? Kasi isa siyang malaking distraction saakin. Major distraction. saksakan pa naman ng hirap sa logic, mahihirapan pa lalo ako mag concentrate. Pero habang ginagawa ni Jen ang assignment ko sa Math, pumasok sila sa room. Dama ko eh, alam mo yun? damang dama ko, as in kahit hindi ako lumingon sa likod ko, tumingin siya sa ginagawa namin ni Jen, sabay umupo sa tabi ko.

Nag touch ang right shoulder at left side ko. Aaaaaahhhhhh~ KURYENTE!!!!

Pero siyempre, nagkunwari akong hindi ko siya na feel na umupo doon. Natural, act natural girl. Kunwari akala mo ibang tao yung umupo. Ngumuso bigla si Jen, kunwari umayos ako ng upo at lumingon sa kanya. Dalawang beses. Second look kumbaga. Pero he just look straight. K, fine.

Hindi ba niya alam na isa siyang malaking DISTRACTION at harang sa dadaanan ko? kuya ang payat ko para magkasya pwede bang tanggalin mo yang binti mo sa daanan ko? Pwede ba ‘yon? Pero siyempre, hindi ko yun sinabi. Try ko lang. :p

Habang nag didiscuss si Sir ng kung ano anong nakakadugong topic sa Logic na hindi ko na maalala ngayon, ubo siya ng ubo, ubo din ako ng ubo, kahapon din ganun eh, duet kami. Parang may concert lang. Soulmate ba? May plema nga kanina yun eh, kaya napalabas siya bigla sa room. nasa tabi lang naman ng room namin ang CR ng Gents. Hahahah~ Wag mo ng itanong yung sakin.

Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. Gustong gusto ko siyang tingnan kasi ang cute cute cute niya. Pero hindi ko magawa. Kaya sa abot ng makakaya ng mata ko, pinipilit kong tingnan siya sa gilid. Hehehe~

Bigla na lang siya nagtanong, BIGLAAN, “anong page yung assignment sa Math?”

His voice. The first time I heared his voice, i didn’t like it. It’s deep, doesn’t, ABSOLUTELY doesn’t match on his face. But it’s slowly growing on me. Like in the group of people, his voice will stand out. When he shout, i will immediately recognized his voice. after 7 years of not hearing ralph’s voice, I forgot it. But you know what, I have a feeling that if he talk right now, I know I will recognized it. I dunno. Instinct maybe?

Anyway! Nagpa break na sa wakas si Sir. Nagliligpit siya ng gamit niya, at hinding hindi ko malilimutan ay yung kumanta siya. Isang linya lang sa kanya ni Justin Bieber, mali pa kamo ang lyrics, ” I KNOW you WANT me.”

Sabay tayo, bagsak ng bag sa upuan, at labas ng silid aralan.

HUWAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!  i don’t know. Don’t asked me. I don’t have any freaking idea. Am I busted?

After the break, hindi na siya umupo sa tabi ko. Kasi nakaupo na si Kuya A doon. Sorry honey. LOLs. cute sana siya eh. pero walang habas na nagsasalita ng bastos at mapapa “watch your words” ka talagaaaa! aaaarrrghh~

FAST FORWARD. Uwian na.

joke lang dapat yung sasama kami papunta sa V.Mall pero they (jen and chad) PRACTICALLY DRAGGED ME OVER and TOOK MY JOKE SERIOUSLY. Gaaaah~ gumawa daw bang eksena sa gitna ng highway? not a very bad idea if you want to commit suicide. aish~

Pagka sakay namin ng jeep, naabutan namin siya at kuya chabi na naglalakad. Eh ang bagal nilang maglakad at ang bilis ng driver magpatakbo ng jeep, dinungaw ko sila (siya), hindi ko alam kung nakatingin siya direction namin, pero nung malayo na talaga kami at liliko na sila, He held up his right hand and wave. Sorry my memory is a bit blurry NOW. Bakit ba sa mga importanteng pagkakataon, hindi na nagiging vivid ang alaala ko? It’s getting really scary na.

DID HE WAVED AT ME? Is that for real??? So he knows??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Sigh. I’ll stop na so i can review for my special exam tomorrow. I’m so into G.Na’s “I’ll back off so you can live” NICE SONG! :)

Imma go now, you guys should take care and don’t forget to formspring me!!!

Thanks to the people who told me they love my blog. You rock!!!

 

 

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 6:41 pm | permalink | Add comment

i can’t keep my eyes off you…

August 6, 2010

Hello!! I’m coughing and has cold right now, ughhh!!! hindi ako makahinga sa kaliwang butas ng ilong ko. hassle~

i ditched my Finance class because my head is aching and it’s raining. Yah, masarap matulog. Don’t blame me. soft bed and comfy pillows plus raining outside is just BEAUTIFUL. I can’t ignore the chance to enjoy it. hehehe. but KIDS! do not ever ever copy my bad habits..

I woke up 8 am to get ready for my next class which is the most boring and the most… “di ko feel” class… together with CS class haha. Nakaka antok at nakakawalang gana kasi magturo yung prof. T_T yun yung klase na bibilangan mo talaga ng oras, yung kapag quarter to one na, mapapa YES! ka kasi konting tiis na lang… Habang nag di discuss ng kung ano ano si Sir sa harap, hindi ko mapigilan ang mapatingin kay high-you na nasa gilid lang namin.. ang cute cute cute cute niya talaga, siya yung cute na tipong gusto mong tingnan close up, yung cute na gusto mong i kiss? Oh. OH RIGHT. Imma stop now. Hahahah!!! Patago pa akong nagnanakaw ng sulyap sa kanya. weeee~ cute cute :D At sa tuwing titingnan ko siya, lagi pa rin akong nagugulat dahil parang ang liit nya sa malayuan pero pag malapit na siya saakin, mas matangkad talaga siya saakin, at he has broad shoulders. GAAAAAH~

He’s really cute but the weird thing is the more you look at his face expressions, the more you’re attracted. =)

Sir dismissed the class 35 minutes earlier! YEHEY! kumain kami sa 21, bumili ako ng peyburit kong meringue at nag mini stop kami at bumili ng hershey’s ice cream. yuuuumm. Eh, wala na kaming ma pwestuhan, umakyat na kami sa taas. Ang hangiiiiiiin kanina. 5th floor pa naman kami kaya feel na feel namin yung hangin.

Habang hinihintay naming ma dismiss ang klase bago kami, nag secret boy hunting muna ako. Madaming may potensyal. totoo yun. Pero wala akong makitang masasabi kong, siya na. Anu ba yan, asan kanaba kasi? Magpakita kana!! :p Joke lang, di pa ako handa. Chill ka muna kung san ka man ngayon. Magkikita din tayo sa takdang panahon. :D

ETO NA ANG HIGHLIGHT NG ARAW KOOOO! kinikilig ako sheeet. :p

pumasok na kami sa room, as usual dun kami umupo sa pwesto namin. Nagulat na lang ako ng pumasok kaagad ang grupo nila high-you. Ang aga nila, in all fairness. Nakita ni kuya mark na may electric fan sa likod namin, kaya dun sila umupo mismo. Biglang dumating si high-you, siyempre, kung san tropa niya, doon din siya. Nasa kanang likod ko naka pwesto yung electric fan, sa mismong likod ko si kuya mark umupo, doon siya puwesto. PWEDE BA.. Not again. PLEASE. No, not again. He pulled out the chair beside me at and sat beside me. GAAAAAA~

etong si jen at che, sarap sungalngalin at ibitin ng patiwarik, isabit sa balcony ng fifth floor ng tumigil lang sa kakabulong, kakatawa, kakaasar PARANG SILA PA YUNG KINIKILIG IMBES NA AKO YUNG GUMAGANON EH! kainis eh!!! aish. -3- nagpapahalata pa ang mga bruhita nakuuuuuuuuu! nung umalis na si chad for their meeting, lumipat ako ng upuan, sa tabi ni Jen. Siyempre kahit papano may hiya pa rin ako. Dalagang Filipina ‘to mehn. Hindi ako basta basta lilingkis! Pero itong si Jen, ipagtulakan daw ba ako? Nagsi alisan din ang mga katropa ni high-you sa likod namin at lumipat sa kabilang ibayo, pero siya, andun pa din siya. Hindi siya umalis, kahit na niyayaya na siya nila. Yah, I know naman na kaya siya nag stay doon kasi mahangin. Oo sobrang hangin kahit anong gawin kong ayos sa buhok ko, lintek na, gumugulo pa din! argh~

Tumayo si Kuya Aron para kunin yung electric fan sa likod namin, umapela si che, lumingon ako sa likod, sabi ni kuya marc, “sige na kunin mo na yan” I looked at him, then flashed him a pouting face. He laughed! cute ni kuya marc hahaha! sabi niya, “sige nanga inyo na yan..” yun naman pala eh, ambait naman pala ni kuya, actually i like him. I like him as my kuya. Wala lang.

Oh my God, medyo lumalabo na yung memory ko. Nagiging blurry na siya, so I wont go on the details.

Habang nag di discuss si Sir, hindi ko mapigilan lingunin siya, pero he seems so…different. it’s like he doesn’t care. He just don’t care. Naka upo lang siya, nakatingin kay Sir, kung ano anong gestures ang gagawin. Habang nagi- scan ako ng book, yung kamay niya 4 or 5 inches away lang from mine. I realized, He is SOOO close yet so far away :( ayun na oh, pwede ko ng sunggaban yung opportunity to hold his hands, but after that what? What will I do next? Ayy, stupid. You have to satisfied na he is one seat apart from you. Yan ang sabi ko sa sarili ko. Ha! I feel so genius.

Discuss discuss, Suddenly his left shoe touched mine. AY grabe! Para akong kinuryente. Ganon talaga pag crush mo no? Kahit anong gawin mo, may something ka talagang mapi feel. Hahaha! Ano mang ikilos mo, may malisya at may malisya talaga. Eh kahit anong gawin kong iwas, when he looks at my direction, the barrier melts immediately eh. Parang quickmelt sa bilis! Ottokhae? ottokhae?

Nag break.

After the break, inasahan ko ng lilipat na siya ng pwesto. don sa tabi ng mga tropa niya. Much to my disappointment he remained at his seat. Heto na mga friends!!! Heto na yung HIGHLIGHT sa lahat ng i ha highlight kung ano man yooon! I was browsing che’s phone. Parang nagtetext din siya. Suddenly, nagpatugtog siya. That is my first time to witness him playing a song on his cellphone. OMG~ pinapakinggan ko kung ano bang kanta yun. Teka~ parang familiar, lalaki yung boses, narinig ko na ‘to, alam ko narinig ko na ‘to eh~ “Baby baby baby oooooh!!!” anak ng putakting yan! si jen bigla na lang kumanta! lalo kong hindi narinig lalo huminaaaaa!!!! arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh~ pinilit kong mag concentrate talaga. finocus ko yung kanang tenga ko sa kantang tumutugtog sa cellphone niya.

“it’s you and me… and all of the people.. and i don’t know why, I can’t take my eyes off you….”

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~ dug dug dug dug~

YOU AND ME NG LIFEHOUSE IN THE HOUSE MA MEHN!!!!

It makes me sooo giddy~ OO alam ko naman naman naman na hindi ako dapat si aling assuming~ eh bakit ba? Sapul ako eh. I can’t take my eyes off you daw. kuya, may pinatatamaan kaba ha?

Ini enjoy ko yung music, bigla niyang pinatay. So… yun lang? Yun lang talaga yung pinatugtog niya? YUN LANG TALAGA? Bat kailangan yun lang? Dun lang at kanina lang? Bat kailangan ganun? Kainis. I cannot and will not understand boys ever. Psh.

Pumasok si ateng kaklase namin at may inabot na xerox copy sa kanya. Bumulong sakin si Jen, tingnan ko daw kung ano yun. Hala, may pinasasagutan pala si Sir na exercise sa book! Naman naman naman ohhh.

“ate, pwedeng mahiram yung libro mo?” Nilingon ko siya. As in close up, he’s really cute. Para ngang nahiya pa siya nung moment na yun. Heto na ang pagkakataon mo teh!! “Sasagutan mo ba ‘to?” Nakatingin siya saakin. “Oo”, ang bilis naman ng oo mo, “Ahh, oh eto” Ngumiti siya, “Ay di sige, sagutan mo na”

Si Jen, nakita kaagad yung nangyari, nagreport kaagad kay che at louie, “Oh ayan ang mga moves kunwari magtatanong!!!”

 ”JEN MAY SASAGUTAN PALA!!!!!”

Feeling ko. Feeling ko yung ngiti ko, lalagpas na sa mukha ko. Nakita yun ni jen, pero wala na akong magagawa. kinikilig ako ng bongga as in yung bongga. wapakels kung kumukopya siya eh sa kinikilig ako at hindi makapag concentrate habang naghahanap ng sagot sa mga tanong sa exercises.

ang unggoy na yun na nagpasaya ng araw ko. nakuuuuuuuu. Parang hindi naman totoo yung mga nangyari.

sige na. crush na kita. tama na ang kakatawag ng ate saakin, mas muka kang kuya, ‘ta mo, bente kana?

Hala, sige na. Go-ra na ako tama na to. Wala pa akong assignment sa Stat, at hindi ko pa napa plantsa ang uniform ko para bukas. May special exam pa ako sa linggo at inabot ng apat na oras ‘tong blog ko. Daming distractions.

maBABAY!!! :)

 

 

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 8:03 pm | permalink | Add comment

can’t get over Yoon Jaewon’s painful death.

August 4, 2010

I won’t post anything for one week because I want you guys to read my uber duper big entry below. kekeke~ Yeah, I know, I’m being scary na, sorry. I’m just gonna mourn for one week because of Yoon Jaewon’s painful death. The story is just… LEGENDARY. As I’ve said before, it was like, i was April who lost her Black Coffee.

PLEASE READ! PLEASE. It’s worthy, I promise.

Oh, don’t forget to asked me whatever here. formspring.me/photskiee

That’s all. Take care!

APRILLOVESBLACKCOFFEE.

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 7:09 pm | permalink | Add comment

Conversations Between Us. (review of a fan)

August 2, 2010

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN US.

Why don’t you try reading this fan fic? HIGHLY RECOMMENDED i swear. Click the link. Or if you want PM me and i’ll send to you the document file.

APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE.

rants coming soon.

[WARNING: If you haven’t read the story PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE BECAUSE THE CONTENT BELOW IS FULL OF SPOILERS. I want you to read the story first. Enjoy every single words. And feel the emotions of the characters. After you read it, PLEASE GO BACK HERE AND I’LL SHARE TO YOU MY CONCERNS AND let us share the pain together. Arasso? :) ]

* * *

I will apologize for the wrong grammars, typos and for the long rant. If you haven’t finish reading the fanfic then do not waste your time. This entry will have a lot of spoilers.

 

I downloaded the document file last year in my laptop. I haven’t got the chance to read the Solangel’s fic because I don’t have time, and I don’t have any idea that it’s just awesome. So, when my class started, I’m so bored, I finally decided to give it a try. I started reading CBU last week of June and last night, August 1, 2010 exactly 11:05, I finished reading it.

 

Last two nights ago, I was in the climax of the story I started to feel the drama. I started to feel the tension and I feel like I wanted to read it fast so I will know the answers to the questions floating in my mind.

 

And when I can’t take it anymore, I texted two of my best friends. “I am currently reading a 451 pages fiction written by a bright and beyond great Korean writer… I started reading it last june and up to now, I have 78 pages more to finish and I’m freakin hurt—literally. The story, the feelings and emotions in every sentence the writer constructed just—HIT HOME. I would rather finish the story tonight than sleeping but I’m just so scared to finish the rollercoaster-ride-life of Maybelline Lee. Oh, please. I don’t want to remember how Sangwoo saved her life and now JaeWon’s going to die. I seriously need to stop myself from talking and just get some sleep. Ugh. I can’t believe it. The story was just so friggin awesome. A great story of Korean true love. Kthnksbye.” It cost me 5pesos on that SMS but at least I vented it all out.

 

Then I continued reading it the next night. When it’s already past 10pm my father told me to stop reading and just continue the next day. Before I went to sleep thoughts lingers on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about what will happen next. Are they gonna die? Will they finally open up their issues with each other? Is he gonna ask her to marry him?

 

The story is not just full of drama and whatsoever. It is not overrated story of gangs fighting over a girl. But instead, the story makes me realize that one minute you’re happy, the next minute fate will turn your world upside down. One moment, you’re happy with your special someone then suddenly out of nowhere they were gone.

 

It also makes me happy how the girl found the love of her life. But, we don’t really have all happy endings right? It hurts me so much as if I was the girl who lost her man who cares so much for her. April loves black coffee. Big time.

 

I couldn’t point out when exactly Jaewon did fell for May. So he was just pretending all along? When did he realize he likes her? This and a lot more of questions are swimming in my mind wanting to be answered.

 

The weird thing is, I also felt what May felt when Taehee was so worried about Jaewon. I can feel the jealousy, May.

 

Solangel, author of Conversations Between Us and Banana Pancakes is specifically my favourite beside Amaranth, author of My PingPong Boy. And I wanted to be exactly like her. Not because she can make her readers go “gaga” over her awesome works, how creative her mind or how seriously bright she is to described such a nice bittersweet story of love. I wanted to be like her BECAUSE she seems to be so GOOD in touching every people’s heart in just quoting simple but meaningful words. She can tell what her character wants to tell to the readers. She can pull off a dramatic scene with being so cheesy or corny. She can make unforgettable moments. And she can make me highlight her words so I can go back reading it again—literally.

 

Sorry for a very useless and shallow rant about how I really idolize her but deep down inside, I really salute you my favourite Korean author, Solangel.

 

Now, I’m done with my past thoughts before I finished the story. Now, my thoughts AFTER I finished it.

 

I know, when I was in the middle of the story, that JaeWon was gonna die. I actually skip on the last part so yeah, confirmed. He died. But I refuse to believe it when their story (May and JaeWon) continued to spark like the sparkles JaeWon bought for May at the convenience store before dragging her over the beach.

 

I started to like him because he was mysterious (I like that type of guys) and deep down inside, although he wants to cover his feelings, I know he was a good person. A good sunbae. A good son. A caring brother. A good boy friend.

 

Oh yeah, you figure it out he IS my favourite. But he needs to die. Because that was his fate. Because maybe if he continue to live, the two of them won’t be happy.

 

I cried. I cried after I finished it. I cried myself to sleep. I was crying when I woke up this morning. I was teary eyed when I read his last words to May again. ““ . . . Don’t cry. I don’t want to go . . . seeing you cry.” He still cares for her even though he was dying.

 

What made me cried even more was that he died in her arms. She saw how he died. And that was just cruel, unfair and soooo painful.

 

The pain in my heart is sooo heavy. I can’t get over it. It’s too much. EVIL. Just evil.

 

Relied was over me when he was able to express his feelings for May. That after all those lies, he was REAL. He tried his very best to make his APRIL happy. He was addicted to BLACK COFFEE BECAUSE OF HIS APRIL. He even smiled when he heard May telling him that she loves him so much. (okay now, my heart is aching again.)

 

Yeah, at least he was true, unlike Sangwoo. That guy is … wait. I can’t actually find words to describe him. And I badly wanted to go inside my laptop slap him with all my might. ( Gusto ko na din siyang daganan, if possible.) He is selfish. He is disgusting.  He represents all the evil sides of humans. I felt sad, mad, and angry and I want him to die, rot in hell like my unni said. I’m terrified at the thought that maybe someone like him exist in this REAL world. He’s the last person I would want to meet. Why do I hate him so much? Read the story. Find out how he turns to be sooo evil after being a good guy. Oh and one last thing. He’s a fcuken BASTARD. Sorry of the bad word. He deserves more than that.

 

Sigh. As for Hansuk, Kim Ji Yong, Taehee and those V.S.D wannabe gangsters? If they really EXIST today? I’ll pray for them. I will pray that God will guide them to the light. I’ll pray for their soul. I’ll pray for their lost souls. But I hate them. I hate them so much. If they’re not evil there is a possibility that JaeWon would be alive.

 

It’s difficult for me to get over the pain I am feeling right now. Because I love Jaewon. I love his awesome personality. In this world, it’s hard to find someone like him. He doesn’t even exist and that’s why I’m very sad that even in fan fics he had to die.

 

Yoon JaeWon.

 

He is like my ideal guy. He has a lot of flaws, he fights, he cursed like there is no tomorrow, but when it comes to his April, black coffee can do a lot of surprises, a lot of sweet things and sweet words, he is indeed full of surprises. I love every detail about JaeWon, I hope to meet you not someday but maybe in another life. You won’t be a fanfic character anymore. You’ll be real. =) (and I will make sure you won’t end up with May but with me. CHOS!)

  

Conversations Between Us like my unnies said, it is LEGENDARY. No one can replace the perfect story in my heart.

 

I also made a story review in my public blog. It’s quite different because this version is more long and more of Jaewon. LOL

 

I reckon I’m scaring you now. Maybe you think I’m being sooo weird, crying over to a unrealistic fictional character.

 

But come to think of it. It’s worth the time. He is worth crying for.

 

Rest in Peace, Yoon JaeWon. Saranghae.

 

 

APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE forever.

 

“My last words to you? I’ll never forget the way you looked at me. If I could save up my tears, I could create another ocean for the world to reckon with. And each time I would think of you, a tear would drop, and I would cause a tsunami. Our beginning was our end . . . . “

Posted by dontstareatmesweetie at 10:22 am | permalink | comments[4]