sorry~ i’m not ready for goodbyes. I sucked.

I woke up thinking about my Koy. My GDcam. and 500 pesos. I thought what happened was just a nightmare. But, hey, congratulations. You woke up from a very nice dream. Welcome back to reality.

I miss Koy. I will miss Koy. My aunt gave him to me last November 2007. seems like it was only yesterday. My friend and I were watching Bea and Lloydie’s movie that time. I was so shocked because ‘he’ was my first ever cellphone with camera. ‘he’ is very precious. Koy was there when I graduated from High School. He was there when I entered College and met new friends. He was there when my family went to Subic. He was my instant calculator, my alarm clock, my flashlight, my way of communicating to my friends and my family. he was there to capture my precious moments with his camera. he is very healthy. not enough memory but he can handle large files. now, all of a sudden, because of my stupidity, my carelessness, ‘he’ was gone. FOREVER.

I miss GDcam. I will miss GDcam. ‘he’ was my very very first digicam. for the whole 17 years, he was my first ever. came all the way from Washington, DC. my daddy gave it to me. he was his gift for my 18th birthday. Daddy even said to me that I should take care of ‘him’. ‘he’ is very useful for me. i like photography. and I was very happy when I received ‘him’. He captured my greatest moments this early months. I thought of treasuring him for the next 10years but now. Now,…. he was gone.

You know what? I don’t care about my money. I care about my xoxo bag because my cousin gave it to me as a present too. My two necklaces. my purse. But nothing can compare to the two of them. They were my boyfriends. My very first boyfriends. and now, I left them. I didn’t had the chance to say goodbye. Just a snap of a finger, they’re gone.

I just want to kicked myself, knocked my head off. pull my hair till it hurts so much. But it’s too late. I’m too late. What kind of an owner am I? what kind of girlfriend am I to my boyfriends?

I WANT TO SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it’s too late.

It’s hurts so much. My stuffs are my life. Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not that materialistic. BUT it’s the precious memory of my friends and family shared with them and our own momenthat makes them so important and the sentimental value can’t be replace.

my Koy and my GDcam, I hope you two are both in better place. Thank you very much for the… memories. Sorry, I can’t let you go for now. But maybe someday, kaya ko na.

PS. Lahat ng favourite quotes ko nasa phone ko. lahat ng contacts ko andun din. Augh~ EF MY LIFE!