sorry~ i’m not ready for goodbyes. I sucked.

I woke up thinking about my Koy. My GDcam. and 500 pesos. I thought what happened was just a nightmare. But, hey, congratulations. You woke up from a very nice dream. Welcome back to reality.

I miss Koy. I will miss Koy. My aunt gave him to me last November 2007. seems like it was only yesterday. My friend and I were watching Bea and Lloydie’s movie that time. I was so shocked because ‘he’ was my first ever cellphone with camera. ‘he’ is very precious. Koy was there when I graduated from High School. He was there when I entered College and met new friends. He was there when my family went to Subic. He was my instant calculator, my alarm clock, my flashlight, my way of communicating to my friends and my family. he was there to capture my precious moments with his camera. he is very healthy. not enough memory but he can handle large files. now, all of a sudden, because of my stupidity, my carelessness, ‘he’ was gone. FOREVER.

I miss GDcam. I will miss GDcam. ‘he’ was my very very first digicam. for the whole 17 years, he was my first ever. came all the way from Washington, DC. my daddy gave it to me. he was his gift for my 18th birthday. Daddy even said to me that I should take care of ‘him’. ‘he’ is very useful for me. i like photography. and I was very happy when I received ‘him’. He captured my greatest moments this early months. I thought of treasuring him for the next 10years but now. Now,…. he was gone.

You know what? I don’t care about my money. I care about my xoxo bag because my cousin gave it to me as a present too. My two necklaces. my purse. But nothing can compare to the two of them. They were my boyfriends. My very first boyfriends. and now, I left them. I didn’t had the chance to say goodbye. Just a snap of a finger, they’re gone.

I just want to kicked myself, knocked my head off. pull my hair till it hurts so much. But it’s too late. I’m too late. What kind of an owner am I? what kind of girlfriend am I to my boyfriends?

I WANT TO SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it’s too late.

It’s hurts so much. My stuffs are my life. Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not that materialistic. BUT it’s the precious memory of my friends and family shared with them and our own momenthat makes them so important and the sentimental value can’t be replace.

my Koy and my GDcam, I hope you two are both in better place. Thank you very much for the… memories. Sorry, I can’t let you go for now. But maybe someday, kaya ko na.

PS. Lahat ng favourite quotes ko nasa phone ko. lahat ng contacts ko andun din. Augh~ EF MY LIFE!

my bestfriends’ night =)

Breathe in Breathe out.  Ayoko namang puro negativity ang pumapasok saakin kaya ikukuwento ko na lang ang nangyari sa debut ni bff. Ngayon na, habang fresh pa sa utak ko.

Kahit na medyo buryong na ako sa kakaisip kung maibabalik paba ang mga gamit ko, pag naiisip ko yung nangyari kagabi, kahit papaano napapa smile ako. Mga 6pm nag *toot* na kami. (Argh! May phobia na akong banggitin ang kulay puting pampublikong kotse na yan >< ) anim kami. tatlong babae, tatlong lalaki. Ay,hindi all boys pala kaming lahat. Hehehehe. Awa ng Diyos, hindi kami magkasya kaya nagkandungan nalang kami. Siyempre, hindi ako yung nakakandong malamang sa malamang diba? Ako yung kinakandungan. Poor little dress of mine. XD oh ayan napapangiti na ako.

Habang nasa biyahe kinuwento ni aji na alam na ng buong angkan nila dabs na may something ako kay boy-ong. Aaaahhhhh~ T.T

Pagka dating namin sa venue, ang ganda shet! talagang may shet. kasi parang paraiso. Akala mo prom. Tulad ng prom sa twilight na puro christmas lights. Pero sa opinyon ko, mas bongga yung nasa venue. Para talagang… GORGEOUS ang venue. Yun na. Nag CR muna kami, pagkalabas namin bumulong kagad si ajie “pot si boy-ong!” Lingon kagad ang lola mo. Siya ang nagpaganda ng gabi ko. Chos! Naka black ang white checkered siya. Na suot ko nung papunta kila ajie. Sayang! Dapat di nalang ako nagpalit! Terno sana kami! Bwahahaha. :>

Pagkapasok namin, hanap kami ng table. Nag sa sight ako ng mga kakilala. Nakita ko ang one and only loves ni Dabs. Kaya sa likod nila kami umupo. Para ma cheer ko sa 18chocolates! mwehehehe >=) Table no. 5 kami. Pagkaupo namin, hyper na kaagad ako. Parang ako lang yung masaya.  Ang kulit kulit ko pa kamo. (takte kung alam ko lang na ganito pala magiging kahihinatnan ng lahat.) Patawa ako ng patawa ang daldal ko pa. Kung makatingin ako kay Miyong loves eh, malulusaw na siya sa kinatatayuan niya. Joke lang!

Nag entourage na ang isa pang bilog sa circle of friends namin.Shiz! Ang ganda niya, pramis! Para siyang si KC Concepcion. Yung aura, yung enthusiasm niya. KCng KC. Nahiya ako bigla sa hitsura ko. Aigoooo~ T_T Napapatingin at ngiti kami ni ajie dahil inoobserbahan naming si pagong. Parang he’s mesmerized. Parang ganon! Nakakakilig sobra. Mga the moves talaga! XD Actually,  inuumpisahan na siyang kantyawin. Woooo.

Nagkaron ng Panalangin dahil INC sila. Saka nagsimula sa 18thousands. Ang galing talaga ng bespren ko. Nakalikom siya ng labing walong libong piso sa isang gabi. Ay kay talino! Akalain mo nga naman o. Sumunod ang… ano nga ba yung sumunod? Yung mga lalaking nagbigay sa kanya ng white roses habang pinapatugtog yung, “Can’t take my eyes off you.” Na supposed to be nag li lip synch sila. Pero wala silang ginawa kundi halikan sa pisngi si Erikah. Gabi niya talaga to mga ‘tol!

Nang matapos ang 18thousands ang pinakahihintay ng lahat ng dumalo ng gabing yon. It’s eating time! Siyempre, smile na lahat ng tao. In the mood na. Ang system ng kainan, magtatawag ng table number yung emcee pupunta sa debutant magpapapicture saka sunod sa kainan. Buffet style. I love their lasagna! sayang di na ako nakabalik pa

abot tenga yung ngiti ko nung lumapit si boy-ong sa likod namin. ang kati! hahahaha after ng kainan, nagplay ng video slides, nag speech mama niya, at kung ano ano pa. kinuha na yun plate ko at pinalitan ng mango crepes. hindi ako makakain ng maayos dahil sobrang kabado ako sa 18balloons at 18 symbolic gifts. Oh shizz! ayun kinuha na tuloy yung half eaten dessert ko. at sobrang kabado. 

Nung tinawag si aji at naglakad siya papunta sa harap naghiyawan ang mga tao. Ang ganda kasi. Di bale, mabait naman ako. XD(shonga na lang, nawalan ng cam at phone argh!) Huli akong tinawag sa 18balloons. Argh! I don’t want to remember what I said. The only thing that I remember was I can’t reach the mic. It’s above my eyebrows. I’m so nervous I don’t know what to do so I just tried my best and louder my voice. After balloons comes symbolic gifts. Dabs laughed when I revealed that my gift was a turtle stuff toy. And when I proceeded to my seat her labidabs were looking at me, natawa ako sa expression ng muka niya. Parang, ” ADIK KA! BAT GANUN ANG REGALO MO?!” with matching tabinging kilays. Hahahahha! :>

Ooh fast forward, 18 chocolates naaa. Everyone was waiting for the 18^th chocolate. My God, everyone was teasing them! As in owver teh. Ang haba ng hair ng babaeng ire! XD Sobrang kilig ko di ko na maalala yung sinabi ni labidabs niya. Ang pinaka high light kasi dun eh yung ano. Yung KISS mga teh! HAYUUUUP. Naka chamba ng kiss oh! Duma the moves talaga.. tsk Di mo malaman kung sino ang nananantsing o chinachansingan lang talaga nila ang isat isa ng patago. Hehehe :>

Ano na bang nangyari after nun? Nagkantahan lang, nag games. Sumayaw siya ng solo. Saka yung Gee nila. Saka natapos ang party. Picturan. Habang kaming anim, parang… wala lang. XD pero feeling ko di naman kami out of place. Kasi madami naman kaming OP kaya parang hindi na rin. Ang gulo ba? Basta masaya lang talaga ako kagabi. Nag picture taking sila. Natawa ako kasi may picture nga si dabs at labidabs niya pero may lalaki naman sa gitna. Yung lalaki, yun yung nanguna sa panalangin. So ibig bang sabihin nun…. Alam na? bwahahaha! XD

Hindi ko lang lubos na maisip at mawari kung paanong napasok sa eksena yung pagpapapicture namin dalawa ng boy-ong. Basta nalang lumapit mama ni dabs at binuking ako na may ano nga daw ako. Hala! Ang daldal talaga ni aji! Hanggang sa pinipilit na nila akong lahat magpa picture. Ay nako. Kahihiyan ang aabutin ko sa mga kasama ko eh. At umiiral ang pagkadalagang Filipina ko, in short pakipot mode kaya hindi ako pumayag. Ang dami kayang tao puro pamilya pa nila! Aysows.

Pero ang pinaka nakakapag smile talaga saakin, as in at this moment talaga eh -HINDI KO ALAM KUNG NAG HAHALLUCINATE LANG AKO OR WHATEVER- nung parang he is looking at me too. Ya! As in. I am not lying. O iba lang tinitingnan niya? Siguro si aji? Eh si yong yung nasa likod ko? So saakin nga ba talaga? Ay landi talaga. :> AYON NGA! Nagpapapicture silang mga boys na magpipinsan na may kagat na white rose. Yun yung time na nakatingin siya. Oh my gulay he look so freakin cute!!! Awww. Sayang wala kaming picture na nakaganun siya. TSK! Hehehhee. Nung dumaan kami sa gitna para magpaalam binulungan ako ni ajie na nilingon daw niya ako. Oh shizz! Tubig tubig! Hahaha! At kahit hanggang doon pinipilit pa talaga nila ako. Kung wala lang masyadong tao papayag ako eh. Kaya lang talaga ano eh. Hayaan na nga XD 

ihahatid na kami ni Dabs, naglakad kami siyempre pabalik, dumaan kami sa gilid nila.

may narinig akong nag “ahem! ahem!” 

akala ko naman si Ajie yung ginaganon.

Lumapit sakin si Cci sabi niya “Nice one”

sabi ko “huh?”

nagreact si Dabs, “tong mga pinsan ko type din kayo ah”

sumagot din si yong “type din namin sila eh” I look at him with a blank expression.

“Oh pot ehem ehem daw. Yieee”

OHMYGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Can this be it? Is he the one? Haha! Joke lang! Friends lang. hahahha! :>

Kaya para tuloy ayokong umalis non. Haha! makikipag socialize pa ako sa future family ko. Charos! XD Sa sobrang kulit ko nga, sinigaw pa ng walangyang bilog na yun yung pinsan niya. aaaahhhhh~ nakakahiya! XD

That’s it. The end of the night. I thought it was gonna be awesome until…. you know. HAY! this is not supposed to be unhappy entry so yeah.

Let’s end it with a SMILE =) :> c=

you can’t be replace~

The easiest thing to do is making mistake and the hardest thing to say is… SORRY

I sent a message to the man who gave me the camera thru facebook.  I said sorry hindi ko naingatan ng sobra yung gift niya. Ang sakit sakit sobra. Mahal na mahal ko yung camera at cellphone ko. Dapat ako yung tinuturo sa choreo ng Gee ng SNSD e. Yung ‘PABO’

I hope the taxi driver has golden heart. If not, thats ADSGHDGSHDGJHASJASKAPLPQPOW! =( =( =(

I’ll probably cry just like what I did last 4 hours ago. I was like scared and I don’t want to see any taxi’s anymore. If ever na hindi na ibalik yun, baka magka phobia na akong tumingin sa mga taxi drivers na matanda at kalbo. Forever na akong mag iisip, ay baka siya yun!

Bat ba kasi ang saya saya ko, parang wala ng bukas ang tawa ko. AYAN! Ayan ang nangyari! Patay kang bata ka! Wala na gamit koooooo T_T

Nabalitaan ko din pala nung isang araw na nabangga daw ang kotse mo. Awa ng Diyos, yung lancer lang ang matagal tagal na mawawala. Salamat sa Diyos at hindi ikaw ang nawala. Bakit kasi hindi na lang ang puso natin ang nagbanggaan? Chos! Pwede naman andun ako sa pinangyarihan ng banggaan, o kaya baka pwedeng ako na lang ang nabangga mo? Hindi talaga tayo pwede e. Kaya sa susunod sana magiingat ka. Tama tito mo, yung kotse pwedeng palitan. Pero ikaw, nagiisa ka lang. Ingat!

8:13am na. Nasaan na kaya ang bag ko?

i lost you :(

i lost my cellphone, my precious camera and my allowance for the whole week last night. I’m still in shock and I dunno what to do. Totoo nga yung sabi nilang, wag kang masyadong masaya, baka may mangyaring masama. Sobrang saya ko sa debut ni Dabs. See what happened? They said, I can’t reach that taxi driver anymore. wala kasi kaming plate number at konti lang yung info namin. But I’m not giving up. My phone is still ringing. I know that God is good all the time. He knows how important those things are to me. Kahit di na ibalik yung pera. papel lang po yun. Pero yung cellphone, lalong lalo na ang camera, SOBRANG IMPORTANTE PO NUN. Kahit yun nalang yung ibalik God. Kahit yun na lang po.

Sobrang grateful naman ako sa mga kasama ko dahil sa support nila. Si Yong, ajie, ian at marvs na sinamahan akong maghintay. Salamat salamat ng sobra.

Masaya nga ako at bitin pa kamo sa debut niya. Nawala naman xoxo bag, necklaces, suklay, cellphone, 400 + at CAMERA ko.

apat na oras lang ang tulog ko. kaninang 2:30am na ako nakatulog kasi alas dos ako nakauwi. Umiyak pa ako dahil pinagalitan ni papa. sisi sila ng sisi. ang tanga tanga ko daw. pero si mommy nene, opposite. mabait pa siya. pagkagising ko kaninang umaga, tumawag yung ate ni papa, pinagkalat na pala ng madaldal kong lola. Ganun din, sisi ng sisi. Akala mo napaka perpektong tao at walang nangyaring ganun sa kanya. Panira ng umaga. Sana di na lang siya tumawag kung ganun lang sasabihin niya. Kung ipapamuka at ididiin lang niyang TANGA AKO. oo ako na! -__-

I DON’T KNOW. BUT I AM NOT LOSING HOPE. I have faith in God.

*sigh* ang hirap shet!

you want me back? now, I’m back! :)

Sobrang dami kong gustong ikwento. Pero nagloloko ang net ko, at wala akong time. Aish! Pero WELCOME ME BACK! Yes! I am finally back for almost two months of abscence! I will be active on secret blogging about my boring and so-not-interesting life again. *grins* may nagtya tyaga paba maghop dito? (Ya, meron! Si Dyane! Thanks Girl! )

If I would publish my entry last tuesday, punum puno at naguumapaw sa ka ampalayahan siguro ang blog ko. Pero after 5 days, medyo okay na ako at naka recover na sa ka bitteran sa pagalis ko sa resto na pinag ojt-han ko. So for the next entry nalang yung kwento ko about don. O maybe, tamarin na naman ako hindi ko na naman masulat. Ganun lang talaga. Hehehe

Pumasok na ako last thursday! Medyo hindi pa nag aadjust ang katawan ko. Sobrang init, amoy pawis na kaagad ako (gumagamit naman ako ng tawas). Nasanay sa aircon? Feeling ko, lagi akong bad hair day at sobrang laging huggard kahit anong gawin ko. Feeling ko, habang inuusog nila akong pumayat daw ako, lalo akong tumataba! Sumusulpot ulit ang mga pimples na dati ay nawala nung nasa Trinoma ako.

NAKAKAINIS!

Iwas rice, iwas softdrinks, matamis LAHAT NA! sana pinatira nalang ako sa Trinoma forever! I wanna migrate in Korea like right now! Argh~ At ang allowance ko, unti unting nawawala sa aking mahigpit na hawak! Pag nasa trinoma ako, nakakapagsave ako, pero thursday palang ubos na kaagad ang pera ko. OH HINDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

At bakit napaka init sa room na madalas naming pinagka klasehan? Walang exhaust fan! walo nga ang electric fan kulob naman kami, utang na loob ANG SINGET KO NAGMAMAKAAWA NA! Bakit ang mag prof, kung hindi nakakaantok, nakakatakot? Kahit strict sila, sumasakit ang ulo ko sa kanila!

Mabuti pa ang Soc2 at Math3 professors, as of the moment, nageenjoy ako sa kanila.

Ay! may kwento ako. Dali dali! XD kasi ano bang araw yon, thursday? No. Friday! Ayun, friday ng morning Finance yung subject. Strict yung prof kasi matandang babae. As in terror to the highest level! Anyway, umupo ako sa dulo sa may door. So, nakikita ko yung mga dumadaan sa hallway papasok. Out of nowhere, napalingon ako sa labas. I saw a guy. I was actually in the mood hunting for cute boys! hehehe. nag meet ang aming mga mata. Parang iniwas ko yung tingin ko kasi, adrenaline rush. SORRY DI SIYA CUTE. parang ganon. Nagulat na lang ako, pumasok sa room! nakatingin pa saakin. Ay, klasmeyt ko pala. Shet. Mali ka ng moves mehn! And then, he was like looking at me randomly. I dunno why. Maybe he was curious. And I am curious about him too! May kahawig siya kasi. Pero nung friday, medyo di ko pa maisip kung sino. After finance pa, naghubad siya ng polo, nasa gilid namin siya. Parang… eh??? okay. So, he’s cute. Yeah. I am starting to feel something. WHY AM I ALWAYS ATTRACTED TO NAUGHTY AND NOT SO GOOD IN STUDIES BOYS LIKE HIM? argh! yea, hate to admit but I have a small crush on him na. He was looking at us talaga. Not only to me. He looked at me like, thwice or thrice lang. Okay? Friday night, I searched his fb. I found it! He’s quite fine! I’m attracted to his eyes and lips. This morning, I found out kung sino kahawig niya. Si Chung Jung Myung my loves!

PAALALA: Hawig lang po. Hindi kabuuan. Iba ang buhok, ang KUTIS at ang katawan. Mata at Labi lamang po. medyo di pa 100 percent hawig. LOL

he was not looking at me unlike yesterday. I tried to caught his attention but he seems not interested. Hehehehehe matalinong matsing! marunong umiwas sa kalaban LOL yaaaawn! I will call him High You. Because his surname is the opposite in tagalog. Haha! What a weird weird surname he has.

And guess what! May something din si Chad sa kanya! OMYGHAAAD. Bat ganon? Parehas kami lagi! Asaaar.

Marami pang mangyayari. maaaring mabasa mo pa si High You sa mga susunod na kabanata, kaya abangan! XD

After class, nagpunta kami sa resto. Parang iba ang atmosphere nila. Parang may tension. Parang, hindi na sila masaya? Ay ewan ko ba. Wala pa si kuya pao! At dinramahan pa ako ni kuya arjhay na gumagwapo in fairness kanina. argh~ half of me want to go back. Pumapayat daw ako dun, nakakapagipon, kumikinis. BRING ME BAAAACK~

Haay. It’s already 11:30 pm and I’ve already told my chisms. Tomorrow is another day.

Goodnight! Fighting Yayaya!

PS. Second place lang si Ryan sa PBB. SCQ part 2? hehehe, congrats James!

she’s hurting me slowly, slowly.

I know I’ve been very much unfair lately. I know you’re not liking my attitude. I’m always mad and what you said  was true, I’m not the old me anymore. I’m not saying sorry? I always make face? I’m not the friend you USED to know? You know what? Bob Ong was right when he said that you only think that they changed because they are not acting the way YOU want them to act when you’re around. Sorry, I can’t say this straight on your face or should I say, I can’t say this to YOU personally. Because I am not that good explaining myself in person. I have a very slow brain. And I’m not a good talker. But before you say anything WOULD YOU PLEASE LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST? I am not the only one who changed. I AM NOT THE BAD GIRL. But if you think I am then fine! Go enjoy yourself with your boyfriend! Go bitching around I wont mind. I don’t care. I don’t care at all. Sometimes, I find myself asking, Should I go and find other set of friends who will understand me and blah blah blah? Then I will answer myself, NO YOU CANT. because you are stuck now. You just have to embrace the fact that they are the only one who can be with you.

Psh. How can you be with someone who’s more concern on her boyfriend than her own 3 years bestfriend?

I just can’t understand our relationship right now.

they got nothin’ on you girls~

i just miss the feeling of being happy with old friends. The feeling is over whelming that i want to hug them so  tight like there’s no tomorrow. I am so happy and grateful I can’t the right words to let them know how I feel.

It’s been almost two years since the last time we’ve been together. No baby miyuki, yet. But now, things had changed so easily, baby miyuki is now two months old and her mommy must be one of the most baby face mum in the whole wide world. manager pauwie is still…. pauwie. and cha is still chubby LOL kidding aside i dont think THINGS changed that much. We’re still the same person I used to know. The same old friends I used to laughed with.

I hope things would not change in the next 10 years. I love this day.

PS. I miss kuya pao >=)

goodbye heat~ Hello rain! :)

Ito yung isa sa mga araw na gusto mo na lang tumambay sa harap ng computer at mag internet ng buong araw habang naririnig mo ang pagpatak ng ulan sa labas at nararamdaman mo ang malamig na simoy ng hangin. Kampante ka dahil komportable ka sa loob ng bahay, may tubig sa gripo at mabilis ang connection ng internet mo. Ito ang isa sa mga araw na pinakahihintay ko dahil masarap magbasa at magsulat sa mga ganitong panahon.

Sayang nga lang at kailangan ko ng mag ready pag pumatak na ang 10:30 am. Huhuhu… Goodbye comfort zone T_T

PS. Nakikinig ako ng White Love Story sa ganitong panahon, what a nice idea. LOL (Say hello to Coffee Prince once again )