full of stupid sh1ts.

I always felt concious.

Maybe because I always care of what others may say about ME.

I should’ve realized then and there that he was starting to care for me.

As we continued walking, I realized something. “Hey Jaewon.”

“What?” He replied.

“You’re still holding my hand,” I pointed out.

Still continuing to lead me, Jaewon half turned, barely glancing at me. “I Know.”

I should’ve realized then and there that he was starting to care for me.

He had been so angry that Hansuk had laid his hands on me.

He didn’t like the bull shit that SangWoo was about to say to me.

He was furious about it.

He hated it.

And he was damn sexy about it.

                                                      -MAY

                                                       Conversations between Us

* * *

Geez, Sorry I’m back to my CBU obsess self again. Actually I’m reading it again. I printed the edited version of it. The edited version is 176 pages, the other 76 pages will be printed next week because, I’m broke now. Hehehe. After printing those left, I’ll book bind it. Yeah, I’m determined to turn it in a book. My personal Conversations Between Us book. Thanks to my idol, Solangel. Hehehe. I will read it when it’s raining then I’ll have a cup of coffee while reading. Aahhh~ I’m so excited of the thought!

May naalala lang ako. Mga last two months ago, ganitong oras din yun. Pagkatapos ni Papa kumain, lumabas siya buhat buhat yung mahabang hagdan na kahoy. Tinawag niya ako. Kasalukuyan naman akong naghuhugas ng pinggan namin noon kaya hindi kaagad ako nakalabas nung tinawag niya ako. Nung lumabas na ako, nagpapabukas pala ng gate namin si Papa saakin, pero may binatang lalaki na nakakita sa sitwasyon ni papa at kusa niyang tinulak yung gate para kay Papa. That boy is soooo sweet right?! He has initiative to do it without even asking. That’s what you call “Kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.” If I had the chance I would like to thank the boy. Or even smile at him. Too bad, it’s too dark and he’s a fast walker.

Anyway, that’s all for tonight. It’s raining! YAHOOOO. My fave~

And I need a cup of coffee. Everyone, stay safe!

A tragic ending. RIP.

Seriously, I pity people who bashed, cursed and hated Rolando Mendoza. As if they’re all angels, who doesn’t make “major” mistakes. And I detest people who made him like a madman, a public enemy and forever KILLER. Police and media what can you say about this? Who called the police to arrest Mendoza’s brother? And now, they’re blaming him for associating his brother? AS I CAN SEE, HE WAS FCKING TRYING TO DO ANYTHING TO CALL HIS BROTHER!!!! I can’t believe you people. HWAG PO TAYONG MAGHUGAS KAMAY. Nakakaawa po tayo. MAHIYA KAYO DAHIL KALAT SA BUONG MUNDO ANG… Aish!~

You guys need loads of prayers. You need to think about your actions.

At pwede ba? Sa mga pulitiko na bigla bigla na lang lumalabas diyan, ASAN KAYO KAHAPON?!

Huwag tayong magmarunong. Bakit hindi nalang natin daanin lahat sa dasal?

Hindi sana sad ending ang nangyari kung iniisip natin ang aksiyong gagawin natin. Hindi sana tayo iba banned sa Hongkong (at hwag sana sa Korea) kung hindi natin idinadaan sa karahasan ang lahat. We offended a lot of people in our entire life. Did we apologize? No, WE BLAME IT TO OTHERS.

I can’t even watch news about this. It breaks my heart that someone had to killed a lot of innocent foreigners just because some people are being so stupid, so self centered!

Look at the Chinese people, look at Mendoza. They’re all dead now. We’re all alive. We’ll forever remember this tragedy.

I can’t stand seeing his face. I have a feeling that he doesn’t want them to die. He just wants justice. Pero pinagkait sa kanya.

Sorry. Sorry If I you feel that, I’m on the “killer’s” side. Maybe If i was one of his hostages, maybe if i have a family there inside the bus, I would blame him for everything. For his foolish acts. Maybe I will curse him for taking their life. No one is allowed to take someone’s life. In my own opinion, only God can do that. But we pushed him to do it. And he did.

Now, it’s the end.

Is it also the end of Tourism in the Philippines? As far as I know, we’re banned in Hongkong. Are we also banned in Korea?

Augh~ Too many dead bodies. I can’t stand looking at them. But I can’t stand looking at Mendoza’s photos, even more.

Chinese People, Korean Idols~ We are not bad. Please, someday, forgive us.

Let’s all pray tonight and wear black tomorrow as a sign of mourning and respect for the souls.

Life can end.

Masakit ang tuhod ng lola ko. namamaga, at hindi siya makatayo. But then again, I yelled at her. Accused her, offended her. That’s why she told me I’m not her real grand daughter. because I am TOO bad. She always accussed me of not bein a human. I’m an animal. I deserved her harsh words because I admit, I’m sooo mean to her. I shouldn’t shout at her. I should just told her to sit down ang relax herself. But no, I did the opposite thing. I told myself to be a good person, to calm down, to smile and not hurt her because she’s old na. But what did I do? I’m so stupid. I deserved to be grounded. If I can only hold my patience, If I can only control my angst… It’s too late for everything. And I just wanna die. Because the pain is enough. More than enough to kill my sanity.

Matututo ka rin sa HULI.

huli na nga lang.

I’m not trying to make sense here~

I have so many things, so many stories, so many experiences today that I want to share. But now, I can’t do it because I’m not in the mood. You know what Stephenie Meyer said about the issue of her “Midnight Sun”? a lot of people are trying to convince her to continue writing it, but she was so upset of what “happened”, she said that her first feelings was that there was no way to continue writing it.

Writing isn’t like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything.

 

I can totally relate.

If I will write NOW the story, it won’t be as exciting and enjoyable as it is supposed to be. It’s.. err, exciting. At least for me. Ke~

If I have time, or the strength to backtrack and finish this entry I will go on the details of how much I enjoy riding LRT again after a month, how much I appreciated SM Manila now since it’s really great and it has stores and restos that Trinoma aint have. How much excitement I felt when I discovered that there were Etude Store in SM Manila and how sorta disappointed I am because the endorsers were Park Shin Hye and Lee Min Ho. (it’s supposed to be, eh eh eh eh 2ne1! LOL! How biased I am *GRINS*) How much I got disappointed because I saw some beanies at the ground floor but the cost UNBELIEVABLY too much! Then we also went inside Comic Alley, and guess what. Comic Alley was playing Big Bang songs nonstop! I love it! Comic Alley @ SM MANILA, You rock!!! Then, how much I feel so empty because my 400 php allowance is now down to, 150php. In this cruel world, you really have to spend a lot of money to be happy and somewhat satisfied, neh?

Aigoo~ They’re arguing again. WTF. Can I use bad words now? Tang*na, pwede bang magsitigil na kayo? Magmahalan kayo at magintindihan hindi yung puro pride, hindi yung DAPAT AKO ANG TAMA! Tang*na walang perpektong tao!

That’s all. Night.

baka sakaling maisip mo~

Hating gabi na ako nakatulog kaya sobrang inaantok pa ako kaninang umaga. Halos 6:30 na ako nakagising. Kailangan ko pa ng tulong ng cellphone ko para magising at mawala ang pagkaantok ko. Kailangan ko ng malakas na pananampalataya para makumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na pumasok ng Logic class. Dang it! Sorry sa Papa ko na pinaghihihirapan ang pambayad sa school tapos hindi lang ako papasok dahil sa gusto kong takasan ang masalimuot at nakakapagpadugong logic class.

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kailangan ko talaga as in sobrang kailangan kong pumasok… dahil baka tumabi saakin si High you. Ang babaw pero isa yun sa mga idinahilan ko sa sarili ko.  Isa lang yun sa mga iba pang dinahilan ko sa sarili ko ha, wag kang mag react owvah!

Tinext ko sila chad, che at jen. Nasa jeep na ako ng magreply sila. Pinaka natawa ako sa reply ni chad. “Ay naku UTANG NA LOOB! sasabihin ko kay “lloydie” na may crush ka sa kanya” Natawa talaga ako ng bongga nung mabasa ko yun ah! Nasa jeep pa naman ako.

Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ba nila nahugot yun eh. Basta bigla na lang kaming ni link sa isa’t isa. Si lloydie ay classmate naming lalaki, maliit lang, ka level ko, parehas kaming mukhang bata (bumuhat na po ako ng sarili kong bangko hehehe) at kahawig niya si John Lloyd Cruz. Masaya siyang katabi at kaasaran. Pero sorry, wala akong pagtibok ng puso sa kanya. Pero bakit bakit at bakit?? Bakit at sa paanong paraan nagsimula ang lahat ng pang aasar nila saamin? Pero hindi naman ako yung owvah sa arte ha. Sakin ayos lang naman yun, wala namang masama sa pang aasar nila saamin, kasi walang malisya naman talaga at para saakin magkaibigan lang kami, wala ng lalagpas dun. Pero hindi ako nagsasabi ng tapos. Malay natin? Hahaha

Anyway, mga 7:50 na ako nakarating sa classroom. Pag pasok ko, diretso kaagad ako sa pwesto ko. Pero andoon siya at nakaupo. Tumingin pa nga saakin eh. Walang bakanteng upuan sa gitna nila ni Jen. Okay, naunahan ako ni high you mga teh~ no choice kung hindi umupo sa likod nila. Sa buong panahon na andun ako sa likod at nagsasagot sila, wala akong magawa, kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasagutan yung sinasagutan nila. Wala akong magawa kundi pagmasdan ng mabuti ang gestures ni high you. Walang ginawa kundi makipag harutan kay kuya mark. Eh hindi naman niya makopyahan si jen dahil nakatalikod sa kanya. At parang… okay yung level nung feelings from 8/10 nagiging 7/10. Bumababa mga teh~

Awa ng Diyos, nag break. Lumayas sila sa classroom. Lumipat kaagad ako at umupo sa upuan niya, katabi ni Jen kung saan ang trono ko. Dun ako eh. Medyo na ge gets ko na yung sinasagutan nila kanina kasi tinuturuan ako. Bigla silang dumating. Last week, nung Makita niya si Kuya Aron na nasa pwesto niya, umupo siya sa likod. Pero bakit kanina, huminto siya sa harap ko at wari’y pinapalayas ako. OO! Literal na ganun ang nangyari! Hindi na ako umapela pa, late ako eh, lumipat ulit ako.

Nakita ni Che. Nagalit na dinaig pa ang nanay ko. Pinausog niya ng bongga sila louie, chad at jen para magkaron ng pwesto sa gitna ni Jen at highyou. Nung una siyempre sabi ko, “Hwag na, okay na ako dito.” Lalong nagalit si che. “Anu kaba, diyan ka naman talaga nakapwesto eh. Wala kang matututunan diyan sa likod. Lumipat kana.”

Masunurin po akong nilalang(gusto ko din naman LOL) kaya hinatak ko ang upuan, pero nakaharang si high you kaya kinalabit ko siya. “kuya” lingon siya. “pausog naman” Usog siya. Patay malisya. Siguro manhind di na-feel yung partly parinig ni Che sa kanya.

Pagka upo ko sa gitna, aba ang mga bruhito’t bruhita nagtuksuhan. Nahahalata tuloy ako!

Tuloy ang discussion. Wala akong magawa. Dinrowing ko si pooh sa kamay ni Jen. Nakikita ko siya na tumitingin. Iniisip ko, yung ginawa niya kanina… nakakaturn off ba yun?  Kasi… ewan. Parang ungentleman diba? Hindi ko tuloy alam ang iisipin ko. Hindi na ako nakapag concentrate ng tuluyan sa sinasabi ni Sir. Kumakanta siya ng random na kanta. Na parang nag mu murmur lang. Walang halong biro! Hehehe~

Heto pa. Biglang nag vibrate ang cellphone niya. May tumatawag sa kanya. Sinagot niya yung phone, eh nag do drawing ako, ayaw kong pakinggan yung sinasabi niya. Pero nagulat nalang ako, bigla siyang dumikit saakin habang nakayuko. Nasunggo/na touch pa niya yung kaliwang tuhod ko sa taranta. Nagulat ako dun pramis! Nilayo ko nga kaagad eh. Nakuryente ulit ako.

Pagkatapos ng Logic, stat naman. Pero walang masyadong nangyari. As usual, patawa ng patawa yung prof namin, at sa bawat banat niya hindi ka pwedeng hindi tatawa dahil sobrang nakakatawa talaga! Kung sa bawat joke niya ay babayaran mo siya ng 1000 pesos, aba’y baka milyunaryo na siya ngayon! Isa sa mga joke niya kanina ay yung ni relate niya yung topic sa “ Pag hinawakan mo bigla, nagagalit.” Diretso sa mga lalaki yung katanungan niya. Na green minded tuloy ang buong klase. At ang unggoy na mababa tuwang tuwa! Hindi mo maikakaila sa hitsura niya kanina habang siya yung tinanong ni Sir ng ganung tanong na tuwang tuwa siya at aliw na aliw sa ibig sabihin ni Sir. Talaga yang mga lalaking yan!

Mabuti naman at natapos na kaagad ang klase… Ang bilis ng oras… Panibagong linggo na naman… Malapit na mag midterm, at malas… bakit hindi pa rin kami nagkakaron ng pagkakataong mag usap ng normal at mahaba naman? Nang mawala na ‘to.

i wonder what’s the reason behind this

Pagkatapos kong mag net kagabi, hindi pa ako makatulog kaya pagkahiga ko, kinuha ko yung headset ko at nag radyo sa cellphone. Search ako ng station. May narinig akong pamilyar na kanta.

“Miss you” by Aaliyah(RIP) memories of him came back. Suddenly, I remember meron pala akong picture niya sa isa sa mga albums ko. Picture niya nung bata siya, binigay saakin ng classmate ko nung second year high school kami. Nasakop ng picture na yun ang isang buong page ng album kasi malaki siya, ang ginawa ko pa, nilagyan ko ng lyrics yung ibaba. Yung una lyrics ng Miss you, yung second, teka nalimutan ko. Anu nga ba yun?? Nilapat ko ng station ng matapos ang kanta. Pagkalipat ko, patapos na yung naabutan kong kanta.  Nagulat na lang ako ng tumugtog yung sumunod na kanta, yun yung nalimutan ko! “Only reminds me of you” by MYMP. OMGOODNESS. Nilipat ko ulit, “Without You” by Charlie Wilson naman.

WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS HAPPENING? BAT BIGLA BIGLA SILANG TUMUTUGTOG? Nooooo. Kalerkyyyy.

Sorry ang labo ko magkwento. Nevermind.

Today, me and my friend Je, went to Trinoma, to… Wala lang. Ayoko nga kasi dito sa bahay. Yung taong niyaya ko naman, walang pera. Kaya pati ako wala ng pera. aigoo~ Nilibre ko siya ng slurpee niya, pamasahe papunta, pamasahe pauwi, popcorn, fries. Hati pa kami sa Crepes na favourite ko na ngayon, mahal nga lang.

Crazy Crepes in Trinoma is the best!!!! TRY IT. You won’t regret and forget about it. Yuuuummmmm. drools.

ay, no, hindi ako nabayaran to promote. Hahaha~ Kapag talagang nagustuhan ko yung product. BIDA KA DITO! huhuhu, mahal nga lang, but I know it’s gonna worth it. Next time, yung ice cream naman ang titikman namin, saka bibili na din ako ng Jelly Beans. Masarap din daw yun. Crazy Crepes and Jelly Beans~ WAIT FOR MEEEE.

Anyway, hindi naman masama ang loob ko kung nawalan man ako ng allowance for tomorrow because I treated her. Okay lang yun, its for her naman. Saka nung birthday ko naman, naubos 600 niya saakin. HAHA, TRUE STORY!! XDD

after 2 and half hours, umuwi na kami. Funny, hindi umulan ngayong araw na ‘to. Makulimlim lang. which we like right? kasi pag masyadong mainit, MAINIT. pag maulan, MAULAN. okay na ‘tong di mainit di din maulan. mahangin pa. saraaaap. sana ganito din bukas, at sana may tubig bukas ng umaga. kasi may tubig kami ngayong gabi. kinakabahan ako eh,  baka walang tubig pag maliligo na ako, hassle yun~

Haaay. Nothing to share~ it pisses me off whenever I think about a nice topic to write when I was away from my laptop. And when I’m here, in front of Tamtam, all the thoughts are gone. Short term memory. laziness and limited time. Pressure. Argh~ I can’t write!!!! *pouts*

Oh! You know what? I pm-ed the author of “Conversations Between Us” on Soompi and she replied to me!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! SHE EVEN GAVE ME A FEW TIPS!!!! SHE READ MY ENTRY FOR CBU IN MY PUBLIC BLOG! She’s so nice and very humble and very very very cool!! I LOVE HER! Saranghaeyo Sol unni! SOLANGEL FTW! Idol forever!

That’s all for tonight. I wonder what will happen tomorrow? Yey! tuesday na naman. makikita ko si Pagibig sa MIS class. yipeekakeey!

Gutbam~

How did you freakin know I want you??? Aish!

Nagising akong umuulan sa labas ng bahay namin. Winish ko na sana, lunes na lang para pwede akong matulog hanggang 8am. Pero kumanta bigla ang cellphone ko ng, “Lolli-lolli oh lollipop” ng BigBang at 2ne1… Kaya wala akong choice kundi mag gayak at pumasok sa Logic class.

Second wish ko? Sana hindi siya tumabi saakin. Si high-you? Kasi isa siyang malaking distraction saakin. Major distraction. saksakan pa naman ng hirap sa logic, mahihirapan pa lalo ako mag concentrate. Pero habang ginagawa ni Jen ang assignment ko sa Math, pumasok sila sa room. Dama ko eh, alam mo yun? damang dama ko, as in kahit hindi ako lumingon sa likod ko, tumingin siya sa ginagawa namin ni Jen, sabay umupo sa tabi ko.

Nag touch ang right shoulder at left side ko. Aaaaaahhhhhh~ KURYENTE!!!!

Pero siyempre, nagkunwari akong hindi ko siya na feel na umupo doon. Natural, act natural girl. Kunwari akala mo ibang tao yung umupo. Ngumuso bigla si Jen, kunwari umayos ako ng upo at lumingon sa kanya. Dalawang beses. Second look kumbaga. Pero he just look straight. K, fine.

Hindi ba niya alam na isa siyang malaking DISTRACTION at harang sa dadaanan ko? kuya ang payat ko para magkasya pwede bang tanggalin mo yang binti mo sa daanan ko? Pwede ba ‘yon? Pero siyempre, hindi ko yun sinabi. Try ko lang. :p

Habang nag didiscuss si Sir ng kung ano anong nakakadugong topic sa Logic na hindi ko na maalala ngayon, ubo siya ng ubo, ubo din ako ng ubo, kahapon din ganun eh, duet kami. Parang may concert lang. Soulmate ba? May plema nga kanina yun eh, kaya napalabas siya bigla sa room. nasa tabi lang naman ng room namin ang CR ng Gents. Hahahah~ Wag mo ng itanong yung sakin.

Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. Gustong gusto ko siyang tingnan kasi ang cute cute cute niya. Pero hindi ko magawa. Kaya sa abot ng makakaya ng mata ko, pinipilit kong tingnan siya sa gilid. Hehehe~

Bigla na lang siya nagtanong, BIGLAAN, “anong page yung assignment sa Math?”

His voice. The first time I heared his voice, i didn’t like it. It’s deep, doesn’t, ABSOLUTELY doesn’t match on his face. But it’s slowly growing on me. Like in the group of people, his voice will stand out. When he shout, i will immediately recognized his voice. after 7 years of not hearing ralph’s voice, I forgot it. But you know what, I have a feeling that if he talk right now, I know I will recognized it. I dunno. Instinct maybe?

Anyway! Nagpa break na sa wakas si Sir. Nagliligpit siya ng gamit niya, at hinding hindi ko malilimutan ay yung kumanta siya. Isang linya lang sa kanya ni Justin Bieber, mali pa kamo ang lyrics, ” I KNOW you WANT me.”

Sabay tayo, bagsak ng bag sa upuan, at labas ng silid aralan.

HUWAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!  i don’t know. Don’t asked me. I don’t have any freaking idea. Am I busted?

After the break, hindi na siya umupo sa tabi ko. Kasi nakaupo na si Kuya A doon. Sorry honey. LOLs. cute sana siya eh. pero walang habas na nagsasalita ng bastos at mapapa “watch your words” ka talagaaaa! aaaarrrghh~

FAST FORWARD. Uwian na.

joke lang dapat yung sasama kami papunta sa V.Mall pero they (jen and chad) PRACTICALLY DRAGGED ME OVER and TOOK MY JOKE SERIOUSLY. Gaaaah~ gumawa daw bang eksena sa gitna ng highway? not a very bad idea if you want to commit suicide. aish~

Pagka sakay namin ng jeep, naabutan namin siya at kuya chabi na naglalakad. Eh ang bagal nilang maglakad at ang bilis ng driver magpatakbo ng jeep, dinungaw ko sila (siya), hindi ko alam kung nakatingin siya direction namin, pero nung malayo na talaga kami at liliko na sila, He held up his right hand and wave. Sorry my memory is a bit blurry NOW. Bakit ba sa mga importanteng pagkakataon, hindi na nagiging vivid ang alaala ko? It’s getting really scary na.

DID HE WAVED AT ME? Is that for real??? So he knows??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Sigh. I’ll stop na so i can review for my special exam tomorrow. I’m so into G.Na’s “I’ll back off so you can live” NICE SONG!

Imma go now, you guys should take care and don’t forget to formspring me!!!

Thanks to the people who told me they love my blog. You rock!!!

i can’t keep my eyes off you…

Hello!! I’m coughing and has cold right now, ughhh!!! hindi ako makahinga sa kaliwang butas ng ilong ko. hassle~

i ditched my Finance class because my head is aching and it’s raining. Yah, masarap matulog. Don’t blame me. soft bed and comfy pillows plus raining outside is just BEAUTIFUL. I can’t ignore the chance to enjoy it. hehehe. but KIDS! do not ever ever copy my bad habits..

I woke up 8 am to get ready for my next class which is the most boring and the most… “di ko feel” class… together with CS class haha. Nakaka antok at nakakawalang gana kasi magturo yung prof. T_T yun yung klase na bibilangan mo talaga ng oras, yung kapag quarter to one na, mapapa YES! ka kasi konting tiis na lang… Habang nag di discuss ng kung ano ano si Sir sa harap, hindi ko mapigilan ang mapatingin kay high-you na nasa gilid lang namin.. ang cute cute cute cute niya talaga, siya yung cute na tipong gusto mong tingnan close up, yung cute na gusto mong i kiss? Oh. OH RIGHT. Imma stop now. Hahahah!!! Patago pa akong nagnanakaw ng sulyap sa kanya. weeee~ cute cute At sa tuwing titingnan ko siya, lagi pa rin akong nagugulat dahil parang ang liit nya sa malayuan pero pag malapit na siya saakin, mas matangkad talaga siya saakin, at he has broad shoulders. GAAAAAH~

He’s really cute but the weird thing is the more you look at his face expressions, the more you’re attracted. =)

Sir dismissed the class 35 minutes earlier! YEHEY! kumain kami sa 21, bumili ako ng peyburit kong meringue at nag mini stop kami at bumili ng hershey’s ice cream. yuuuumm. Eh, wala na kaming ma pwestuhan, umakyat na kami sa taas. Ang hangiiiiiiin kanina. 5th floor pa naman kami kaya feel na feel namin yung hangin.

Habang hinihintay naming ma dismiss ang klase bago kami, nag secret boy hunting muna ako. Madaming may potensyal. totoo yun. Pero wala akong makitang masasabi kong, siya na. Anu ba yan, asan kanaba kasi? Magpakita kana!! :p Joke lang, di pa ako handa. Chill ka muna kung san ka man ngayon. Magkikita din tayo sa takdang panahon.

ETO NA ANG HIGHLIGHT NG ARAW KOOOO! kinikilig ako sheeet. :p

pumasok na kami sa room, as usual dun kami umupo sa pwesto namin. Nagulat na lang ako ng pumasok kaagad ang grupo nila high-you. Ang aga nila, in all fairness. Nakita ni kuya mark na may electric fan sa likod namin, kaya dun sila umupo mismo. Biglang dumating si high-you, siyempre, kung san tropa niya, doon din siya. Nasa kanang likod ko naka pwesto yung electric fan, sa mismong likod ko si kuya mark umupo, doon siya puwesto. PWEDE BA.. Not again. PLEASE. No, not again. He pulled out the chair beside me at and sat beside me. GAAAAAA~

etong si jen at che, sarap sungalngalin at ibitin ng patiwarik, isabit sa balcony ng fifth floor ng tumigil lang sa kakabulong, kakatawa, kakaasar PARANG SILA PA YUNG KINIKILIG IMBES NA AKO YUNG GUMAGANON EH! kainis eh!!! aish. -3- nagpapahalata pa ang mga bruhita nakuuuuuuuuu! nung umalis na si chad for their meeting, lumipat ako ng upuan, sa tabi ni Jen. Siyempre kahit papano may hiya pa rin ako. Dalagang Filipina ‘to mehn. Hindi ako basta basta lilingkis! Pero itong si Jen, ipagtulakan daw ba ako? Nagsi alisan din ang mga katropa ni high-you sa likod namin at lumipat sa kabilang ibayo, pero siya, andun pa din siya. Hindi siya umalis, kahit na niyayaya na siya nila. Yah, I know naman na kaya siya nag stay doon kasi mahangin. Oo sobrang hangin kahit anong gawin kong ayos sa buhok ko, lintek na, gumugulo pa din! argh~

Tumayo si Kuya Aron para kunin yung electric fan sa likod namin, umapela si che, lumingon ako sa likod, sabi ni kuya marc, “sige na kunin mo na yan” I looked at him, then flashed him a pouting face. He laughed! cute ni kuya marc hahaha! sabi niya, “sige nanga inyo na yan..” yun naman pala eh, ambait naman pala ni kuya, actually i like him. I like him as my kuya. Wala lang.

Oh my God, medyo lumalabo na yung memory ko. Nagiging blurry na siya, so I wont go on the details.

Habang nag di discuss si Sir, hindi ko mapigilan lingunin siya, pero he seems so…different. it’s like he doesn’t care. He just don’t care. Naka upo lang siya, nakatingin kay Sir, kung ano anong gestures ang gagawin. Habang nagi- scan ako ng book, yung kamay niya 4 or 5 inches away lang from mine. I realized, He is SOOO close yet so far away ayun na oh, pwede ko ng sunggaban yung opportunity to hold his hands, but after that what? What will I do next? Ayy, stupid. You have to satisfied na he is one seat apart from you. Yan ang sabi ko sa sarili ko. Ha! I feel so genius.

Discuss discuss, Suddenly his left shoe touched mine. AY grabe! Para akong kinuryente. Ganon talaga pag crush mo no? Kahit anong gawin mo, may something ka talagang mapi feel. Hahaha! Ano mang ikilos mo, may malisya at may malisya talaga. Eh kahit anong gawin kong iwas, when he looks at my direction, the barrier melts immediately eh. Parang quickmelt sa bilis! Ottokhae? ottokhae?

Nag break.

After the break, inasahan ko ng lilipat na siya ng pwesto. don sa tabi ng mga tropa niya. Much to my disappointment he remained at his seat. Heto na mga friends!!! Heto na yung HIGHLIGHT sa lahat ng i ha highlight kung ano man yooon! I was browsing che’s phone. Parang nagtetext din siya. Suddenly, nagpatugtog siya. That is my first time to witness him playing a song on his cellphone. OMG~ pinapakinggan ko kung ano bang kanta yun. Teka~ parang familiar, lalaki yung boses, narinig ko na ‘to, alam ko narinig ko na ‘to eh~ “Baby baby baby oooooh!!!” anak ng putakting yan! si jen bigla na lang kumanta! lalo kong hindi narinig lalo huminaaaaa!!!! arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh~ pinilit kong mag concentrate talaga. finocus ko yung kanang tenga ko sa kantang tumutugtog sa cellphone niya.

“it’s you and me… and all of the people.. and i don’t know why, I can’t take my eyes off you….”

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~ dug dug dug dug~

YOU AND ME NG LIFEHOUSE IN THE HOUSE MA MEHN!!!!

It makes me sooo giddy~ OO alam ko naman naman naman na hindi ako dapat si aling assuming~ eh bakit ba? Sapul ako eh. I can’t take my eyes off you daw. kuya, may pinatatamaan kaba ha?

Ini enjoy ko yung music, bigla niyang pinatay. So… yun lang? Yun lang talaga yung pinatugtog niya? YUN LANG TALAGA? Bat kailangan yun lang? Dun lang at kanina lang? Bat kailangan ganun? Kainis. I cannot and will not understand boys ever. Psh.

Pumasok si ateng kaklase namin at may inabot na xerox copy sa kanya. Bumulong sakin si Jen, tingnan ko daw kung ano yun. Hala, may pinasasagutan pala si Sir na exercise sa book! Naman naman naman ohhh.

“ate, pwedeng mahiram yung libro mo?” Nilingon ko siya. As in close up, he’s really cute. Para ngang nahiya pa siya nung moment na yun. Heto na ang pagkakataon mo teh!! “Sasagutan mo ba ‘to?” Nakatingin siya saakin. “Oo”, ang bilis naman ng oo mo, “Ahh, oh eto” Ngumiti siya, “Ay di sige, sagutan mo na”

Si Jen, nakita kaagad yung nangyari, nagreport kaagad kay che at louie, “Oh ayan ang mga moves kunwari magtatanong!!!”

 ”JEN MAY SASAGUTAN PALA!!!!!”

Feeling ko. Feeling ko yung ngiti ko, lalagpas na sa mukha ko. Nakita yun ni jen, pero wala na akong magagawa. kinikilig ako ng bongga as in yung bongga. wapakels kung kumukopya siya eh sa kinikilig ako at hindi makapag concentrate habang naghahanap ng sagot sa mga tanong sa exercises.

ang unggoy na yun na nagpasaya ng araw ko. nakuuuuuuuu. Parang hindi naman totoo yung mga nangyari.

sige na. crush na kita. tama na ang kakatawag ng ate saakin, mas muka kang kuya, ‘ta mo, bente kana?

Hala, sige na. Go-ra na ako tama na to. Wala pa akong assignment sa Stat, at hindi ko pa napa plantsa ang uniform ko para bukas. May special exam pa ako sa linggo at inabot ng apat na oras ‘tong blog ko. Daming distractions.

maBABAY!!!

can’t get over Yoon Jaewon’s painful death.

I won’t post anything for one week because I want you guys to read my uber duper big entry below. kekeke~ Yeah, I know, I’m being scary na, sorry. I’m just gonna mourn for one week because of Yoon Jaewon’s painful death. The story is just… LEGENDARY. As I’ve said before, it was like, i was April who lost her Black Coffee.

PLEASE READ! PLEASE. It’s worthy, I promise.

Oh, don’t forget to asked me whatever here. formspring.me/photskiee

That’s all. Take care!

APRILLOVESBLACKCOFFEE.

Conversations Between Us. (review of a fan)

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN US.

Why don’t you try reading this fan fic? HIGHLY RECOMMENDED i swear. Click the link. Or if you want PM me and i’ll send to you the document file.

APRIL LOVES BLACK COFFEE.

rants coming soon.

[WARNING: If you haven’t read the story PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE BECAUSE THE CONTENT BELOW IS FULL OF SPOILERS. I want you to read the story first. Enjoy every single words. And feel the emotions of the characters. After you read it, PLEASE GO BACK HERE AND I’LL SHARE TO YOU MY CONCERNS AND let us share the pain together. Arasso? ]

* * *

I will apologize for the wrong grammars, typos and for the long rant. If you haven’t finish reading the fanfic then do not waste your time. This entry will have a lot of spoilers.

Exactly, I’m talking about this hair.

I will never be satisfied.

Now, I want to have another hair cut. Aish~ Kung hindi ko nagastos lahat lahat ng pera ko galing sa allowance ko sa Max’s at sa perang bigay nung birthday ko, i have exactly 2500 pesos now. Sana. Kung naitabi at naipon ko. Imagine, nagpa relax ako na buong pagaakala ko, 200 pesos lang. But then again LIFE IS SO VERY UNPREDICTABLE. Bumiyahe pa ako ng napakalayo kasi buong akala ko, BUONG PAGAAKALA KO, mura na maganda pa! Edi iyon na nga, pagkababa namin ng jeep, full support pa ako nila jen, che at siempre ni chad. (Actually, pinilit ko lang silang samahan ako) Pusang gala. 550 ANG RELAX!! Utang na loob. Kung tatanungin niyo ang saksakan sa kakuriputang tulad ko, wag na mehn. LIMANG DAAN PARA SA RELAX?!?! That’s just so unbelievable. 400 plus nalang rebond na yon! Sabi ko, wag na lang. lumagpas pa sa doble ng akala kong dalawang daan ah?

pero sabi ni chad, GO NA! tutal naman andito na tayo! pauutangin muna kita! PUSANG GALANG YAN! ang nakakatuksong mga udyok ng mga kaibigan. LOL. edi yon na nga. alam niyo na. natuloy nga yung pagpapa relax ko. Una maganda. shet. parang nahiya pa daw yung mga buhok nila non. After three days. WAPAK! kung makikita mo lang, baka katulad din ng reaction nila. “ay, bakit parang bumalik sa dati?” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Sana dun sa dating salon na lang ako nagparelax. 400 pesos lang don. Tumagal pa ng anim na buwan. EH ito?! 5 days? WT FUSANG KINALBOW MEHN. Sana hindi na lang ako napasubo ng wala sa oras. Sana hindi na lang ganun ang nangyari. Bat naman kasi ayaw makisama ng buhok anak ng tokwang panis! Kailangan pang irelax relax tumuwid lang! Bakit ba ayaw mong makisama ha? ang kapal kapal mo pa walang ya.

Sayang na sayang lang ang 550 koooo.. *cries a river*

ANYWAY. There’s nothing I can do about it. I would probably need to save for another round of it but not now. I’m saving for other stuffs. Like, for korean foods, date with Pau and Je.. and a lot of other IMPORTANT stuffs. I’ll deal with my hair problems some other time.

But now. I have to solve my logic special exam problem and my weight problem. You see, last March, my weight was 68 kgs. but yesterday I was only 60 kgs!!!! WTH! I cannot believe it! So I tried again this morning. And my eyes aint lying!!! BUT. I dont want to jinx myself so I wont expect anything and just in case you ask, I dont feel anything. I still feel the heaviness. So yeah, i dont feel any improvements.

WOW. what a good friends they are. Signing out without even saying goodbye. Even with the simple “bye”, zero. nada. zilch. Bat yung mga iba kong kaibigan di naman ganun? Bastusan?!?!?!?!

Natapos ko kagabi panuorin yung Yamato Nadeshiko Henge! Grabe ang pogi pogi ni Kyohei AKA Kamenashi Kazuya! Jjang yung live version nila. You must watch it too if you’re into JDorama romantic comedies!! The link is there! Let’s support it even though 10 episodes lang siya. At dinelete sa youtube yung interview ng cast! Papanuorin ko na dapat kanina biglang ganon. Saklap diba??? Arggh~

Imma go now. It’s late~

STOP BEING BITTER ABOUT THIS HAIR SINCE YOU’RE ALREADY NOT AS GOOD LOOKING AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Lol!

FIGHTING FIGHTING YAYAYA!

Congratulations SE7EN FOR YOUR HOTTEST COMEBACK! DAEBAK OPPA! <3

PS. Oh i forgot to thank the person who message me on my formspring being helpful by telling me Sam Concepcion’s tumblr. Ha ha. This is pretty funny but yeah, thank you!

No way I’m abadoning you.

Hello.

If you’re wondering, well no. I’m not abandoning this blog of mine. It’s just that I’ve been very depressed these past two weeks. lol. No kidding. I’m just …

well i don’t know what to write since sobrang dami kong naging problems especially on PRELIMS WEEK. God! Can you believe it? After watching Cinco,(if you ask me how’s the movie; all i can say is, SAM CONCEPCION IS SOO VERY HOT and it’s actually funny! I love these kind of Filipino horror films. Light, very nice, and funny. Okay, you got my point.) the very next day, I caught a cold!! Which is very, NOT good! I’ve got a three days exam and If I miss any of it, I’m dead! And because I got sick, my buddies’ teases me about being sick because I was so into Sam C! Noooooo! LOL XD

And I did missed on my exam. My Logic exam. Dang it! Problema ko pa tuloy kung paano ba ako mag e special exam dun. Magbabayad pa ako and everything. Instead of worry less life, gabi gabi akong nangangamba if makukuha ko ba yung exam. Aish aish aish!!!

And oh, i’m okay na, now. medyo masakit lang yung lalamunan at kaliwang tenga ko pag lumulunok. sabi ng doctor, may gasgas lang daw. okay?

I can sing and talk and i can normally eat again.

And oh. I’m very sad. Very boring ang buhay. T_T

and before i forget! Last time I checked my blog, it was 6030 views. Now, 6130 plus views. Ghhhhhaasss! People! Just one, weird i know, question. how in the world do you find my blog??? I mean did you go to google and search of it? Or you just stumble here and all are history?

KTHNKSBYE. ;p

kailangan ko ba ma me meet ang standards mo?

Nagbabalak akong palitan ang layout ng blog ko sa blogspot. oo meron akong account doon. para naman yun sa mga photos ko. napadami ko na kasing naipon na litrato sa lappy ko. gusto ko namang ikalat sa mundo ng cyberspace.

Cute yung layout ni dyane kaya tin-ry ko kung magugustuhan ko yung ibang skins ng pinagkuhanan niya. Hindi eh. Di ko feel. Hindi ko alam at hindi ko din mai describe yung tipo kong layout. Paiba iba kasi ako ng type. Minsan gusto ko black ang background at white and font color. Minsan naman gusto ko white ang background, black ang font color. Minsan gusto Georgia ang font face, minsan naman mas type ko ang Times New Roman at Trebuchet MS.

Ganito tayong mga tao. Ganito tayong mga kabataan. Paiba iba ng mga gusto, palagi na lang may mood swings. Parang kahapon lang chini cheer mo ang boston, pero nung malaman mong close to winning na ang lakers umibang team ka. Kahapon gusto mong asarin at landiin ng konti yung kaklase mong alam mong may crush sayo, ngayon nawawalan ka ng interes at nalungkot siya sa pagbabago ng kinikilos mo.

Hwag kang magalala, hindi lang tao ang may mood problems. Pati ang panahon nagtataglay din ng ganitong kalokohan. Kahapon nagpa plano pa kayo ng mga kaibigan mong pupunta sa Megamall. Magba bus dahil mainit at matindi ang sikat ng araw. Pero ngayon nag ayawan na dahil biglang bumuhos ang napakalakas na ulan at walang tubig na tumutulo sa gripo nila. Purnada tuloy ang lakad niyo. Pinaghandaan mo pa naman ng husto.

Minsan din, pati ang mga close to old age people, may mga mood swings din. Trente anyos kana pero wala ka pa ring boy friend. Paano kasi, napaka choosy mong babae ka. Teh, napag iiwanan kana! mag tu two years old na ang inaanak mo na anak ng best friend mo simula nung kinder 2 eh ikaw? Parang ngayon kapa lang nagsisimulang mag- ayos. Ngayon kapa lang natauhan at nag desisyong lumabas ng bahay niyo at maka amoy ng simoy ng hangin. Ngayon ka palang naguumpisang amuyin ang mga amoy ng lalaki. Na sa kamalas malasan hindi na amoy fresh. Kung hindi naguumpisa ng mag amoy… matanda. Pa’ano kasi malapit na as in ayun na oh, malapit ka na din mag amoy matandang dalaga. Kaya no choice ka kundi piliin mo ang kasing level mo. Ang pangit naman nun kung pipili ka pa ng mga mas bata sayo, ano ka sugar mommy? Ayan na nga. Nakikipag date kana. Pero teh, choosy kapa din! Gusto mo pa, kasing gwapo ni Dingdong at John Lloyd Cruz. Sa tanda mong yan, naniniwala kapa din sa mga teleseryeng napapanood mo noong panahong dalaga kapa. Yung tipong, isa kang simple at tunay na Filipina na magugustuhan ng isang makisig at matipunong espanyol na hahabol habulin ka, pagsisibak ka ng mga kahoy at haharanahin ka tuwing gabi. Teh, club na ang uso ngayon. At tsaka hindi kana pagsisibak niyan, high tech na po tayo! Dahil nadismaya ka dahil wala man lang siya sa kalingkingan ng standard mo, inidiyan mo. Ang masama pa nun, harap harapan mo pang ipinahiya. Hayan tuloy, pinalampas mo ang pagkakataon, malay mo siya na yung taong nakatakda para sa iyo.

Pero hindi mo rin naman masisisi ang tao kung talagang hindi ikaw ang type niya. Hindi na yun mood swings. Hindi rin yun matatawag na pag iinarte o racism. O yung tinatawag nilang sour graping. Sa bawat lebel talaga ng tao may kanya kanya tayong gusto. Wala tayong magagawa kung hindi ka niya type. Wala ka din pakielam kung palagi na lang mga sexy at magaganda ang legs ang basehan ng mga kalalakihan. Wala ka ding karapatang i bad mouth ang mga kababaihan kung ang tipo nila ay yung may katawang tulad ni Taylor Lautner. May kanya kanya tayong gusto, may kanya kanya tayong type. May kanya kanya tayong isip kung sino ang gusto nating magustuhan. Nasa atin na din kung ipupursige ba natin ang nararamdaman natin towards that person. Wala ng pakielaman.

Ang tao, minsan akala natin nagbabago. May mga ilan, OO. Pero minsan kailangan din nating isipin na hindi sila nagbabago. They just want to GROW UP as a better person.

And I just want to enhance my blogspot. Sino ang makakapag bigay saakin ng tamang standard?

(SORRY. Ang labo ko. T_T)

Deym, it’s true!

I’ve been very busy these week and I have some quotes from twitter that I can totally relate.

(I’m supposed to be studying my preliminary exams for tomorrow, but hell I’m procrastinating YEAH!)

* * *

Sometimes, strangers can understand us better than a friend.

- this is actually true. That’s why I’ve decided to make this secret blog. I can’t tell my friends all my secrets. I can’t tell them what i REALLY feel. I feel so lonely. Good thing, i have you. =)

God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don’t run after them.-Rick Warren

- Lately, I’ve been lurking on his Facebook account. Err. What for? Nothing. Just plain, NOTHING. I just want to see what he does everyday, is he turning into a Prince or what? yeah. You may call me a crazy stalker but… Okay okay fine. I will not say anything anymore. Maybe this is true. Maybe there must be a reason behind the fact that he and me is never gonna be meant to be.

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now. -Rick Warren

- I’ve been asking God where is my Prince Charming these past few days. Am I THAT desperate to have a rubbish relationship now? Ugh.

Ang true love ay pareho sa konsepto ng multo - maraming naniniwala pero konti pa lang ang nakakita.

- where the hell are you true love? why are you keep on hiding from me?

Love is a kind of an amnesia, because it makes us forget that there are other 6 billion people in the world.

- this is true!!! there are a lot of fishes in the sea! Go find a delicious tilapia and be happy more than satisfying yourself eating a damn GG. bleh.

 Ang pag-ibig ay parang isang horror movie - alam mo na nakakatakot, pero gusto mo parin subukang panoorin.

- isang malaking katotohanan.

Never regret anything that you said or did. Because at some point, it was what you wanted.

- yes. Before, I wish that I would get fat. Now, I am ugly pathetic fat girl and I hate it. I regret it. -3-

You don’t wish to be everything to everyone. But you do wish to be something to someone.

- trulalu! walang halong eklaver. ;)

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, and the middle one’s for YOU!

- that’s for you effing problems. *grins*

Wondering if the person you can’t stop thinking about, ever thinks about you.

- Baby boy, I always thinking about you. G DRAGON!!!!

I’ll start a diet tomorrow means………. just saying :p

- deym! I need to lose freaking weight. ALWAYS. lewl

Behind every great quotes, there is a crime of copy paste by someone who re-posted it.

- im freaking guilty. hahahhaha!

* * *

It’s been 6 months now and I haven’t write anything yet. I wanted to make a new story but my mind aint processing. I have to start being productive. I have to start practicing. I have to start reading books again.

But before anything else, i have to start… reviewing for my exam tomorrow!!!

FIGHTING! Bbyong~

the thing is, I sucked.

I never wanted to be like this.

but sometimes I can’t help it. I can’t help to be teary eyed whenever I remember that my 18th birthday wasn’t THAT special unlike their birthdays. Sucks eh?

Thank God, hindi tumabi si high you saakin kaninang logic. kung hindi mawawala lang ako sa konsentrasyon. He distracts me! Goodness. Binati ako nila G, what a sweet girl She really reminds me of my favourite cousin. After logic, math na. Sobrang patawa talaga si Sir Nicky. Lahat ng bitawan niyang joke, bentang benta. Basag si high you sa kanya e. Nag roll call, tinawag niya ang sinagot sa kanya “ALWAYS”. Binasag ni Sir, “ALWAYS mababa?” PUAHAHAHAHHA!! benta!!!

Kinuha na namin ang allowance namin. Sa wakas, may maihuhulog na ulit ako sa bangko. Dami ko ng nabawas dun ah. Saka kami kumain sa giligans! Sobrang sarap at affordable ng pagkain nila. Wala pong bayad ‘tong libreng advertisement na ‘to. bukal po sa puso ko. Hehehhe. Ang sakiiiiiiiit sa tiyan! Sobrang busoooog T_T sayang lang ung kaning inorder namin. Si chad kasi kung makapag order e. Sayang talaga

Dumaan din kami sa powerbooks! Shet sale sila. 80% off. Puro 25 pesos, 37, 50 pesos oh gulaay!

So yeah, i really have to go now.. I don’t think I will like to wake up tomorrow. T_T

Bbyong~

Another year and more years to come thank you!

Wala akong masabi. Feeling ko, sobrang mababaw talaga ako. kung yung iba masaya na kapag may cake sila, kapag may party sila at kapag may celebration sa birthday nila, ako masaya na na makita kong madaming bumati sa akin sa Facebook account.

Masaya na akong may letter ang mga kaibigan ko sa akin. masaya na akong may dalawang daan. at masaya na din akong nasa harap lang ng computer, nag ta type at kinukwento kung gaano ako kasaya.

pero hayaan mo akong maghinanakit. dahil sa madaming mababaw na dahilan. dahil parang hindi naging espesyal ang araw na ito. wala man lang surprise, wala man lang effort akong natanggap mula sa mga itinuturing kong mga kapatid ko na. I’m not really into material things or whatnot. Pero naman! 18th birthday ko! Bakit nung mga birthday nila sobra sobra yung efforts ko?! Bat parang nung AKO NAMAN, bat wala akong nararamdaman?! BAKIT? Kung susumahin mo, sobrang dami ng effort na binigay ko, mapasaya ko lang sila sa birthday nila.. hindi ako nagagalit, nagtatampo lang. nagtatanong at nagtataka. Bakit pag ako na palagi na lang ganito?

Sigh.

Gusto ko ng backpack. Yun lang.

Hindi naman tumawag ulit ang nanay ko. Hay naku, baka pumunta yun sa linggo. Ilangan factor na naman. -___-

Kaninang management umupo sila high you at tropapipz niya sa likod namin. narinig ko usapan nila. Break na sila nung gf niya. At ang bitter bitter daw niya. Buburahin daw niya yung number nung babae sa cellphone nya, PERO kabisado naman daw niya. Ang gandang regalo sakin yun oh. Puahahahhaha! Joke lemeng XDD

Pero sa lahat ng nangyari nagpapasalamat ako at nakaabot ako ng labing walong taon. Kahit walang party, walang handa at wala ni isa mang regalo akong natanggap. Salamat sa Diyos at malakas ako, walang sakit. Salamat sa Diyos at kahit papano alam kong madami pa rin akong blessings na natatanggap. Nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos dahil mabuti akong tao dahil na rin sa Kanya. Nagpapasalamat ako dahil alam kong hindi ako nagiisa at alam kong kasama ko siya. Nagpapasalamat ako dahil alam kong makikilala ko pa ang taong para saakin.(chos!) I am so thankful because I’m still able to write this entry tonight.

THANKS FOR ANOTHER YEAR! I LOVE YOU MY CREATOR! You rock!

undeniable ;)

love left us.

it’s over.

Worry Less.

“happy birthday to me.. happy birthday to me..  happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday to me…”

Since no one remembers that it’s my birthday tomorrow, ako na lang kakanta para sa sarili ko. Naulit na naman ba ang nangyari nung nakaraang taon? Hindi masaya ang bday ko? Nakakalungkot. Medyo nabuhayan na ako kanina dahil tumawag si ina, pero hindi ko naman nakausap dahil wala ako sa bahay. hindi  na siya tumawag pa ulit. haay. akala ko nalimutan na ni pauwie eh. hay. wala pa din akong boypren. penge nga. joke lang. XD

hala, di ko nalang iintindihin ang katotohanang, HELLO BIRTHDAY KO BUKAS WALA BANG REGALO DIYAN?! XD

Hello 18th birthday. Hello sad debut. Hello reporting. Hello I gained another effin age. I’m just twelve.

oh boy, i didn’t see that coming.

I cut my hair and now it is sooo short and don’t have shape. Spell B-O-R-I-N-G. ><

So, sigh, sorry if i have to make kwento about what happened to me yesterday and the day before yesterday. But I really need to get this out of my chest like, RIGHT NOW.

Friday.  Finance class. he and his homies came late. AGAIN. Ano pa nga ba ang maaasahan mo sa kanila? Wala. Walang iba kung di late pumasok. ARAW ARAW. Anyway, so nag i-istart na kaming mag quiz nung pumasok sila sa eksena. Mga nasa number 4 na kami. Eh di siyempre clueless sila. Itlog siguro sila tulad namin. LOL

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I’ll behave today. So I wont get caught AGAIN. So he wont be CURIOUS and he will stop looking at me when I look to stare at him. But failed. Nag di discuss si Ma’am tungkol sa namis i discuss ng group 2 (SHIZZ. NAALALA KO, KAMI NA MAGREREPORT SA FRIDAY! Araw ko pa! namaaaaan. >_<) eh nasa likod yung group 2, instinctively, lumingon ako. At shemay naman. dumaan yung tingin ko sa kanya. na sa hindi ko malamang dahilan ay napatingin din siya sa ‘direction’ namin. Okay. Breathe.

Management na. I can’t deny it anymore. He was looking at our group. I dunno why and why and why. eh may kagaguhan talaga yung lalaking yun. na turn off tuloy si chad sa kanya. ang bastos daw niya. puahahaha! so chad is looking at him too? whatta! Pumasok yung taiwanese naming classmate. At pinagkaguluhan nila. They were even teaching him bad words! Haaay! BOYS. -3- Dumating yung prof namin, pinag group kami. Magke case study daw kami. So naghiwa hiwalay sila ng mga katropa niya. bat ba di pa samin pumunta. Pinag form kami ng circle. at akalain mo nga naman, sobrang layo ng agwat namin sa isa’t isa ah, pero magkatapat kami. As in pagnakaharap ako, siya ang makikita ko sa harap. Oh shizz. Nung una, pinipilit ko talaga ang sarili ko, pero napapatingin talaga ako e. Nung mga last minute na ng klase. Oh Jesus Christ! Walang pakundangan kung tumingin, TINGIN TALAGA. So I just act like it was normal. Haaaay!

Next day, Saturday. I made up my mind. I wont look at him anymore. Promise. I wont even give him the slightest attention. That’s my goal for the day. I wont even mind him. I’ll pretend that he’s not existing. But when they arrived, guess who sit down on the empty seat beside me? Yes. No other than, high you boy. HE HAD GUTS!!!!! Jen was even surprised that he sat beside me. Sakto pa, nakalabas yung phone ko habang may sinusulat ako. Bulong kagad si jen, “ay parehas kayo ng phone.” Tumango ako, “oo nga.” ay tanga! mali ang moves ko! dapat nag pretend ako na di ko alam! argh~ parang ang lumabas tuloy alam ko na parehas nga kami. At bakit alam ko? kasi im paying attention. Bakit ako nag pe pay ng attention? because I have small crush on him. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH~ kick me now. kick me now!

sobrang hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. as in parang. parang. hindi ako makahinga. bakit don pa? ang dami dami dami dami daming upuan na walang nakaupo. bakit po doon pa? oh Diyos ko. okay. kalma. so he was actually quiet. parang naka upo lang. di tulad ng ibang lalaki na maraming movements, kuyakoy and whatnot. siya, wala lang. ang palagi lang niyang ginagawa, cellphone. cellphone. cellphone at cellphone. Nagtanong siya bigla. Sagot ako. Pero hindi ko siya tinitingnan. TANGA KO TALAGA! eh di lalo akong nahalata? Bobo. Arghhhh~ >< Para talaga akong tanga. Sumasagot ako pero nakayuko lang ako. Aish aish aish!

nung break na, kinuha ko cellphone ko at headset, sabay patugtog ng bigbang, hindi ko alam niyayaya pala ako nung apat na lumabas. eh hindi ko naririnig! kinalabit lang ako ni jen. Tapos parang naririnig ko na “uy baka ayaw niyang bumaba kasi katabi niya…” anak ng pitong puting tupa! naasar pa ako ng wala sa oras oh! kaya no choice ako kung di bumaba. bad trip. habang naglalakad kami, panay ang kantiyaw sakin, ’sya pala ah, sya pala’ actually di nila alam kung sino sa room. di ko sinasabi. natuto na ako e. Pero bakit bigla na lang out of nowhere, ganon ang nangyari? I wanna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ops. joke lang. XD

He even said thank you to me nung pinahiram ko siya ng dictionary. Hmm. Not bad. He’s actually nice Oh great. This is NOT good. But after the break he seem to be distant to me. Yung upuan lang namin sa buong classroom ang ganun kalayo. Ugh~ I hate distance

And I hate the fact that, that moment had to …. end. I did not even got the chance! Hay. Sobrang obvious na ako. I hate this feeling.

3 weeks na to. T_T